Agar ‘Accent’ Ne Maar Diya Toh… Be ‘Ek Saint’

With time, ‘city’ life is getting tough. Especially in a ‘fast’ growing nation like ‘Hindustan’ – popularly known as India across the globe.

In such a situation, being and remaining calm might just feel awkward. Well, understandable. Because how you hit or go super hit, as a person, depends entirely on the heat, hype and hysteria that you can generate and emit off your character through your expressions. And that is ‘ATTITUDE’; in short ATTI.

Probably the joystick for you to do and get more (i.e. ATI or OTI) unlike a humble, mortal and morals and morale based species or being called Human.

Now what is this ATTI comprised of? Ah, it may have a million factors of a billion defectors; whereas one of the prerequisites in ATTI is ‘Accent’.

In case you are wondering, why not a Volkswagen Passat or something else instead of an ‘Accent’, please take heart, as this ‘Accent’ has nothing to do with Hyundai. So don’t get hassled with the issues like class, model, mileage, maintenance, servicing, spare parts, etc.

To drive the ‘Accent’ with full of ATTI, which I’m talking about, all you got to do, is know English and speak in that language. Not like a Hindustani or Indian but like a Brit or an American!

And, when I said, “Knowing English,” I surely didn’t indicate towards any ‘knowledge in English’. Since, to say and exclaim things like ‘believe you me’, ‘you know why I know’, ‘luv ya’, ‘oh yeah’, ‘muah’, ‘yo dude’, ‘wow’, ‘kewl’, ‘OMG’, ‘bestest’, etc., there is hardly any need to challenge education or secure ‘100% cut-offs’.

I’m sure you can certainly do much better without knowledge, if you know how to drive your ‘Accent’… turning, twisting, tempting, and titillating it on your tongue.

In addition, occasional shoulders-shrugs, smirks, tongue-in-cheek smiles would be more than ideal as ‘body-language’… duly complementing your ‘Accent’.

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Just as a flashback: My mother always used to say ‘recharge’ – until she passed away – whenever she would actually mean to say ‘research’. I agree that was a real ‘Accent’ disorder on her part and tremendous fun on my part to pull her legs, instantly.

But later on, after she had been driven to heaven by her own ‘Accent’, I understood research is recharge only. As if the non-stop opportunities of recharging one’s education, energy, excitement and expectation… to keep experimenting and learning new things in life for greater knowledge and higher cause.

Ask a Bengali like me to call anyone whose name is ‘Ajay’. Invariably s/he will call ‘Ajay’ as ‘Ajoy’. Reason enough for a non-Bengali, if s/he is from North India, particularly from Delhi and NCR, to split into laughter and mock the Bengali (or should I say the Bong) who uttered ‘Ajoy’ to address an Ajay.

No wonder that in the mockery, an interesting and creative point was missed out. That every ‘Jay’ pronounced as ‘Jai’ is a WIN which entails the ‘Joy’ of glory. And who’s ‘Ajay’ is a perpetual winner, so he deserves to be called ‘Ajoy’ (i.e. A Joy) beyond just ‘Ajay’! Basically, it’s an acute example of how ‘natural humour and fun can be killed by plastic scorn and ridicule’.

Strangely, and of course bull-headedly, it’s an Indian most of the time who takes a dig at another Indian in case the latter fails to drive her/his ‘Accent’ properly!

How does it matter actually, and factually, if someone pronounces ‘sure’ as ‘shore’ or ‘she or’ but is still able to communicate that s/he means ‘sure’ for sure? Why on earth a person needs to drive a low ‘Esteem’ for self in case s/he couldn’t or can’t drive an ‘Accent’ into her/his speech? And that too, in her/his own country where English is nothing but a foreign language.

Just curious to know, if any Indian could dare to rebuke someone like Maradona for his nonexistent English! While I named Maradona, I actually didn’t even feel like including an infinite number of other professionals, performers and achievers who attained more than legendary status in their own fields without speaking ever in English.

In fact, till date, as the Indians, when we can’t afford to think beyond our respective labels of Delhite, Mumbaikar, Kolkatan, Keralite, etc. and can’t even afford to speak in any other Indian language, but our mother tongue, with 100% precision… shouldn’t we be ashamed of ourselves, a bit, while we get so fussy about someone else’s English and her/his ‘Accent’?

Practically, while we tend to indulge in the hyper awe or take immense pride in the Brits or the Americans’ superlative standard of Accented English, we perhaps just forget that we also speak, everyday, every time, everywhere such an Accented Hindi, Punjabi, Marathi, Gujrati, Tamil, Telegu or Bengali… earning others’ awe and admiration!

Plus, make no mistake that it is Bengali – a 100% pure Hindustani or Indian language – that’s been nominated as the world’s one of the sweetest languages, scoring much above Accented English for that matter.

Also, the National Anthem of India is recognized and rewarded as the world’s best National Anthem which is in Hindi only.

Hence, it’s wise and prudent to understand and appreciate that English is just yet another foreign language which may require an ‘Accent’, but if that ‘Accent’ was missing while we talk it’s just fine! For, that ‘Accent’ is not going to turn anyone of us ‘James Bond 007’ or ‘Batman’ or ‘Alice’ (in Wonderland) from Jamal Bhai or Mr. Batra or Alisha (in blunder-land).

In case you think so; modestly, then you have been suffering from a colonial hangover a way too far, which needs an immediate cure. And that remedy can easily come to you, if you stop taking yourself too seriously on ‘Accent’.

Remember the shoe polish definitely helps your pair of shoes sparkle, but to help you walk in them to a great distance, it’s the shoe-soles – the soul of shoes – that matter the most over any polish or cream.

In life, only destinations are accountable irrespective of the fact whether those are pre-destined or post. The bottom-line is you got to reach there. Either in time or on time at least.

For that, your journey through the life… facing, controlling, empathising and enjoying various experiences… is very crucial but not the vehicle by which you travel.

After all, it’s really important to locate the real purpose of your living i.e. your destinations in life and visit them one after the other… so as to liberate yourself Fearlessly, Refreshingly and Creatively as ‘Ek Saint’ who lives and believes in ‘A Calmer You’.

PS: For this piece, I sincerely owe my inspiration to Sonal Kalra – Editor, HT City at Hindustan Times, Delhi; to her Sunday column ‘A Calmer You’; and to her article ‘Haamein Toh Accent Ne Maar Diya’ dated June 12, 2011. However all the views expressed here are my personal ones and I bear all the responsibilities of the same. If anybody was hurt by them, I’m sorry and extremely apologetic! If anyone is happy, I’m glad too! And finally, I have never tried to demean or denounce the importance of English as a language for lives.

If you want photographs will re-create and recreate moments to treasure, you must be looking for HER!

First of all, my sincere and serious apology to all of you! I have no technical knowledge whatsoever in, on, of and about photography. Albeit, I’m indebted to each and every photographer across India and abroad whoever has given me the right to react on his / her work. Rather openly minus any sugar talks or false praise.

Mithu Chakraborty is also a photographer who asked me to react on her work. Mithu is a self-learned professional from Singapore. She’s a romantic and responsible wife, a doting mother, a successful business woman, and a champion performing artist... all rolled into one.

When it comes to photography, I really do feel one has to have the three basic qualities in him / her.

First: sense (S) – duly complemented by sensibilities. Second: eyes (E) – to see even insignificant things differently but not in an overtly abstract or alienated way. Third: memory (M) – the ability and capacity to compose and frame a shot instantly on mind before dropping the shutter to re-create and recreate a moment... revisiting time.

Rest of the things such as camera, lens, light, aperture, shutter-speeds, angles will follow to substantiate one’s caliber as a photographer provided those basic SEM factors are present in one in the first place.

Plus, a good and genuine photographer knows it much better than many how to blend the subject and the object in a photograph as an expression of seamless integration.

Make no mistake; it’s not just that skill – applies to shoot or post production jugglery – but it’s that rare quality which separates a real photographer from those ‘I have a Nikon and I have a Canon’ typos.

Needless to aver Mithu is one such woman of substance behind the lens who knows how to exploit her SEM factors… making the required ‘subject-object’ fusion rather naturally with zero compulsion.

Look at; in fact look into, a few of her shots – as provided right here – and you can understand how easily Mithu could, and always can, re-create and recreate moments with élan!

For example, if you see the snap of ‘the sky through the window pane’ (3rd one from the top)… you can actually feel how ‘the subject’ i.e. ‘the freedom in the sky’ has become so distinct through ‘the object’ i.e. ‘the window of captivity’.

A picture perfect illustration of the phenomenon called ‘passive is active’!

Also, if you mark the other snaps in the blog, you can comprehend that each of her clicks does offer something unique one way or the other to a connoisseur of photography and a common man alike… where everyone feels like exclaiming, “WOW!” experiencing a constant re-creation and recreation of moments beyond just photography and photographs… that you would love to treasure!

Now, to come alive with life by recreating moments, if you wish to connect with Mithu, feel free to visit her page https://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Mi-Mithu-Chakraborty-Photography/209159975778084 on Facebook.

Alternatively, you can also mail her at mithubhatta@gmail.com or mithu0103@hotmail.com for all professional assignments.

Free Pitch for Free Ditch or Pitch Fee for Your Glee: THINK

Imagine… you have gone to watch a movie and then telling the person at the ticket counter, “I will buy the ticket, may be during interval, if I liked the plot at all.”

Think… you are about to be diagnosed by a specialist doctor and before that you are telling him, “Get me your prescription for free, if I am cured, I will come back and give your visit.”

Expect… you have boarded a flight without a ticket and while being caught telling the security personnel, “Let the airline take me safely to my destination first then only I will pay for the fare.”

The fact is in spite of several temptations to indulge in such imagination, thought and expectation none of us can do this, successfully, even for once in reality.

But, on the contrary, when it boils down to getting communications strategies, creative ideas and executions and innovative media plans, it seems “give me free” is the call of everyone and anyone whoever owns a brand or two or many in the gamut of marketing.

Strange! Yet a perennial and pathetic truth.

I honestly find it quite amusing, and to a great extent horribly bemusing, why an incumbent agency or a contending one needs to provide such services or bountiful of communications solutions to a brand owner for free as part of an a/c pitch!

If I get into the skin and try to understand the basics, I only realise that when a good brand is imperative for an agency to survive on and excel with… exactly in the same way a good agency – where this goodness should ideally be comprised of the agency’s domain knowledge; strategic acumen; creative skills; servicing quality; media innovations and network partnerships – is also very much important for a brand’s survival and excellence.

Therefore, the creation of ‘win-win’ situation got to be there from the word go, straightaway from a pitch presentation, instead of making it ‘no-win’ for an agency and ‘all-win’ for a brand owner.

The logic is very simple to get, practice and establish so as to ensure a balanced business environment for both agency and client.

Let me try to figure and flesh out… how a relationship happens between a client and an agency.

Interest… either client or agency shows the sign(s) of interest to get into a business alliance. Most of the times, it’s an agency that approaches first. Fair enough. As even if it does so, it doesn’t necessarily mean that as the receiver of agency’s interest, a client achieves a one-up position then and there by default. If one’s interest is reciprocated by the other, it’s automatically 1-1 but no way 1-0 or 0-1 situation.

Time… for every meeting, if client claims to have spent time, agency also has invested a lot on the same. As a matter of fact, an agency spends (read invests) much more time in order to prepare the right things for a client’s brand. And, if time is money to a client; time is mint to an agency, so no misuse of time should be conceded for nothing or free.

Ideas… when a client seeks ideas from an agency – incumbent or contending – that means he is looking for solution(s) for the problem(s) he’s incapable of solving on his own or in-house. (Here the word ‘incapable’ has not been used in any derogatory sense, so for anyone it’s no need to be hyper sensitive and ultra self-esteemed). Hence, he has to pay for the solution(s) because the solution(s) actually help(s) him become capable.

For instance, a guy wants to be father. So, to prove his capability as an eventual father, either he needs to marry or adopt a child or give troubles to some test tubes. Whatever he does, he can’t get things done for free. Be it marriage or adoption or test-tube baby formulation and germination, cost is involved at every stage. And if he pays the right price then only he might attain the fatherhood and thereafter he has to pay more and more… almost everyday because it takes more to be a father than bringing a child into the world, somehow.

Service… capability is nothing but ‘capping the ability’. Otherwise, there is always an element of risk that the ability might go haywire or astray. And, if it happens, no idea can be executed rightly, thus will result in a big zero for both client and agency. These essential executions are actually the manifestations of service, to be expected in future from an agency, which got to be of superlative standards from the very beginning off a pitch itself… entailing a good price tag.

Reward… as brand recall and equity and sales matter to client, to agency awards matter. Unless an agency is award-aholic and award-alcoholic, the best talents can’t be roped in to its system. Be it for strategy and servicing, or creative, or media, or production. As a result, no such brand recall and equity or sales will be guaranteed or generated and only ‘a whale in a well’ affair will continue for a brand. Where infinite number of agencies can be altered though through n number of pitches but the result will remain the same.

Responsibility… the best and the easiest way to show greatness and let others do the same is to bear and share responsibility, ideally from the outset. If a client wants an agency to shoulder the responsibility of delivering him the best of communication solutions in a pitch, he himself should also be game, to carry the onus of providing the agency with adequate amount of time, knowledge inputs and, most importantly, money for that pitch.

From a client, if pitch fee is offered to an agency, it in fact makes the agency doubly responsible to show its greatness rather tangibly… complementing the client’s greatness – already shown in tangible terms with utmost seriousness.

A client must understand that no pitch fee can make an agency rich or big. The fee might not even adequate for the outfit to sustain on even for two months. But, despite having the pitch fee, if the agency can’t deliver and live up to the expectation, its reputation comes under the scanner immediately. Thereby, fly-by-night agencies gradually compel to leave the turf and shy away from ‘everywhere-we-pitch-affection’ (read affliction). In the process, a clean and clear market can be evolved and developed wherein just quality agencies will perform and prevail. And that too, for each and every brand’s benefits.

So, it’s a matter of choice now: ‘Free Pitch for Free Ditch’ or ‘Pitch Fee for Your Glee’!

After all, all I can say is, “THINK.”

Simple viral communications on web helped a furniture shop achieve a whopping ROI

‘48hours’ is the exclusive furniture shop owned by Sarda Plywood Industries Ltd. (SPIL) in Kolkata.

Since its inception, quite a few years back, the shop has never created any such stir in the market with its marketing communications.

No, not that there has ever been any shortage of communications in the form of print ads and hoardings; albeit nothing really clicked. Plus, there was no such metrics in place that could prove the efficiency of the campaigns done in those mainstream print and outdoor media; thus getting a better view of ROI has always been elusive.

In this situation, ‘48hours’ approached me to do something relevant so as to yield something from communications.

Of course it was a complex problem, which needed a simple solution.

The brief was, "Online traffic should know and recall the brand name of '48hours', which is otherwise not so known, and take some actions and visit the website of 48hours."

The target group (TG) was anyone / everyone - who spends time on web. The duration of campaign was 30 days. The allotted budget was Rs. 50,000/- only.

After putting a lot of thoughts, I chose the ‘viral’ route of communications. Decided to use the logo – that actually displays the brand name of 48hours – in such a way that people shouldn't understand it as a furniture shop in the first place; however take interest 'in the offerings i.e. benefits they can avail of and enjoy… in 48hours a day'. And in the process, feel like interacting with the piece(s) of communication and visit the landing page of 48hours’ website.

To implement this, media i.e. consumer touch point was chosen as Bharatmatrimony.com - for its cost-effectiveness and huge number of online members.

Also, a matrimonial portal was taken into account because marriage and furniture are very easy to correlate with each other rather relevantly.

The total number of impressions i.e. online ads used from Feb. 01, 2011 to March 02, 2011 was 50,000.

The number of people hit the website of 48hours by clicking on those impressions was 713.

Hence, assuming that the number of people actually saw the ads i.e. impressions and came to know about the name n logo of 48hours - if even modest multiplication is done – was 713 X 5 (at least) = 3565.

So, the ROI (return on investment) came out as… cost: Rs. 50,000/-; effective value returned: cost i.e. Rs. 50K / total number of audience actually saw the impressions i.e. 3565 X total no. of audience who interacted with the impressions i.e. 713 = Rs. 10,000/-; ‘therefore communication success rate = 10K / 50K X 100 = 20%’.

With all humility intended, 20% is nothing but a whopping success rate in terms of ROI achieved by ‘48hours’ – The FRESH Furniture Hub!

KKR - The SRK Circus!

In case I’m not wrong, KKR is Kolkata Knight Riders, right? Happened to be the most high-voltage, heavy-watt, glamour-emitting team in the Indian Premier League (IPL) T-20 cricket, since its inception.

What had that team done so far?

Played enough cricket to disappoint its die-hard supporters, as well as its franchise.

As a result, in the auction for the IPL4, an all new team is formed and firmed up, which, according to the spokesperson of KKR, is sure to ruin all other teams to win this version of IPL.

Even SRK from South Africa was quoted as saying, “Kolkata must get their cup of joy!”

Indeed. Kolkata is glad and proud to have such a caring and concerned franchise on and off the block of KKR!

The celluloid Caesar turned cricket tycoon also mentioned, “It's a new team, a new set-up. Decisions are taken by a lot of people including coach Dav Whatmore. Jacques Kallis is ‘my favourite’ cricketer; Gautam Gambhir is the ‘in-form’ batsman and Yusuf Pathan is a ‘clear match-winner’. We gave a lot of thought as to how we will go about strategising at the auction and I am hopeful this team will do well.”

“Remember, when we sign players, we have to ‘carry’ them for three years,” SRK continued to justify why KKR needs young or fresh legs.

Now, based on those above comments, some questions are spurring on my mind that I would like to share.

Before the name of ‘Jacques Kallis’ was the qualifying tag ‘my favourite’ really called for? Does a cricketer like Kallis need anyone’s favouritism for that matter, if cricketing abilities of the players are the prime factors for the team selection?

Same way, when law-of-average bothers everyone in cricket, is there any guarantee that Gautam Gambhir’s form will continue as expected? And when was the last time Yusuf Pathan instrumented his earlier team Rajasthan Royals’ series of wins, clearly and constantly?

Also, I’m mighty curious to know whether a franchise does have any quality whatsoever to ‘carry’ a team or it’s simply the other way round where the cricketers actually carry him and his team!

Even if the inclusions of Kallis, Gambhir and Pathan are given a thumb’s up on the basis of cricketing merit and justification, my curiosity continues to know on what parameters Bret Lee made a cut into the KKR squad!

A bowler who’s always been driven and taken apart (with 48 strike rate) by the opponents in almost all the matches he played in the IPL is likely to spearhead the bowling attack of KKR when the team is trying to make its fans believe that it’s making a champion side this year!

Interesting, isn’t it?

If cricketing sense prevails, and if the team composition of KKR is looked at and into with proper reasoning, it’s certain to give us nightmares and reveries in tandem; especially when the team’s bowling department is put under scanner.

Perhaps KKR’s so much talked about and distinguished strategy is ‘let the bowlers splurge runs and make the batters chase them.’

Quite a sporting spirit; must admit!

SRK didn’t deter to comment again that Sourav asked him to change the team completely, so he did the same. Quite an obedient franchise, isn’t it?

And his obedience continued so much so that he even made sure that Sourav was expelled from the KKR team. And then he would call up Sourav to propose if Dada could take the mentor’s role in the team.

I’m sure for such modesty and obedience, if any director changes his entire casting list for a film given SRK’s proposal and also drops SRK too, later on SRK will also accept the mentor’s role in that very film of that very director to train other actors to do well!

Besides, a ballpark notion has been filling up the air for quite some time that the franchises are investing money on the teams thus they don’t want to lose their money.

Fair enough.

However, the question remains, if a franchise is so apprehensive of losing his money why is he investing in the first place then? And, if he thinks that he’s carrying the cricketers; who has asked him to be a Good Samaritan to the willow and leather bearers?

If SRK believes in the fact that he’s lost his money due to the dismal performances of KKR for the last three years, why is he re-investing to play the same game of bat and ball, which is somewhat like gamble owing to the game’s nature?

Had SRK invested the money then what had the Brands such as Nokia, Sprite done for KKR?

I sincerely feel that the time has come for us – all the KKR fans – to understand that KKR will never win notwithstanding the team management’s tall and hollow claims.

It’s not because Sourav is out of the team but just because cricket is not a circus (or cinema) – in whichever format it’s played… test or 50 overs or T-20.

It’s a game of brains, skills, techniques, utilities and, most importantly, class – which is permanent unlike form that’s temporary.

And to say the least, this KKR team has got no class to field in on any turf but offering some gimmicks that have nothing to do with cricket.

So, let’s enjoy KKR playing as the SRK circus!

Travel by trains. Kiss. And get pregnant! Genuinely, ONLINE.

‘Cobwebs are certain to be formed on your Brand(s) unless it / they is / are on web nowadays!’

In case the abovementioned statement seems to be any megalomaniac blabber or jibe of a narcissist Internet Marketer, well, in that case also your understanding needs a little bit of reshuffle, if it’s the question of leveraging the maximum benefits through your marketing communications for the Brand(s) – you own / market / sell.

Web or Mobile or other digitally bolstered gadgets / mediums have never been, still aren’t, and will hardly be the nemesis of the conventional media or consumer touch points such as Television; Print; and OOH. Instead, those Web based and Internet led mediums make sure you and your Brand(s) gain the best of solutions for your Marcom (marketing communications)… by ensuring not only greater Interactivity with your TGs (target groups) but also better ROI (return on investment) with almost 100% transparency on the basis of the TGs’ consumption habits / patterns of Internet usages vis-à-vis your Brand’s communications.

In addition, Web based or Internet led communications – happening on one’s PC / Laptop / Mobile – actually help a Brand customise its communication like anything in no real time or labour as such, whenever needed, and that too, involving just some insignificant sum comparing to the cost spent on mainstream media.

Believe it or not, from mere 25,000 Internet users in 1998 the number of users has increased to 100 million in 2010 and this growth is ever increasing… in India.

As against the total population in India, if Brand penetrations into the lives of active Internet users are to be considered till 2010, it’s only 8.4% – a tremendously under-utilised rate awaiting Brands for more exploration, experiment and excellence on Web.

According to a recent survey report, Brands in India have got just 1.1% penetration rate among 13,188,580 Facebook users till August 31, 2010. Don’t think this figure is anyway helping the new media innovation and invasion.

These statistics are indeed soggy notwithstanding the fact that in the Internet users’ rank India’s position is warmly 3rd… just after China and USA.

In fact in India, 40 million access the net through mobile phones whereas it’s only 8% of those carrying mobile phones. So, GPRS enabled sets at a comfortable price and user friendly features can grin here, ear to ear, for sure!

However, irrespective of so much hidden, as well as overt potentialities on Web the upload and download connection speeds in India are factually below dismal. Where even in South Korea the average upload and download speeds are 37.00 Mb/s and 20.36Mb/s, they are 1.42Mb/s and 0.70 Mb/s, respectively. Fair enough reasons for consumers to believe that they are cheated once again – which is nothing new though but yet another de-value addition to them and their expectations for a service.

If consumption patterns of consumers make sense to Brands so as to formulate and chart out their communications on Web to reach the right audience at the right time with the right content, here is a roadmap to them –

Indians go online for: E-mailing (94%); Music Downloading (72%); Instant Message / Chatting (56%); PC to (free) SMS (55%); Social Networking (54%); Info Search Engine (52%); Watching Videos (52%); Screen Savers / Wallpapers Downloading (50%); Online Communities (50%).

Frankly the abovementioned info are not the ultimate means to do the needful but at least with them a distinct indication is made for a micro-level understanding and action – from minute planning to mega execution – where there is no dearth of ‘me-toos’ in any market / category / segment save for a few across India.

Interestingly, when from every nook and corner in India, one techie or the other is claiming everyday to be the SEO (search engine optimisation) Expert by keyword-search, it’s shown – as per a world famous search engine’s survey report for 2008, 2009 and 2010 – that Katrina Kaif; Aruna Shields; How to Kiss; How to Get Pregnant; and IRCTC (India Railway Catering & Tourism Corporation Limited) are the most popular keyword-search options.

Guess that Brands have got pretty handy chances to travel by trains, kiss Indian (or expat) consumers and get pregnant with success! Genuinely, ONLINE.

... still we survive, BEYOND BORDERS

What is ‘partition’? Just a division between two parts of anything, or something which, for a change, might draw our attention because living itself is nothing but such a wide partition spread out between life and death! And this truth becomes even more evident, if you can experience how it feels to be separated, of course much against your will and wish from your land, values, principles, families, friends, and from everything, everyone you love in order to survive, at least, if not live the fullest.

That’s why; partition is probably life’s one of the most traumatic shakeups, which challenges one’s survival, immediately, where the person’s sex, caste, creed, colour, religion, etc. remain simply inconsequential.

Though a partition sends away one’s life to astray with utmost disdain and ruthlessness and impacts lives of men and women alike; still it affects and, to some extent, infects the women’s health and psyche, bringing unthinkable and unbearable pain and agony to them.

As a matter of fact, what Nita, her mother and her sister had gone through – as picturised in the movie ‘Meghe Dhaka Tara’ – by falling prey to the evils of the partition of India is not at all an alienated phenomenon to the women of today who also delve deeper into such feelings and pathos in their respective lives, thanks to many partitions and borders which they need to break... to go beyond. Either being different from Nita, her mother and sister or being totally indifferent even towards self.

When all that happens somewhere, sometimes, unnoticed, Sharmila Maiti thought of getting behind the lens to let her, as well as every woman’s senses mingle with ours. And, since 2010 incidentally happens to be the 50th year of the movie ‘Meghe Dhaka Tara’, Sharmila chose to salute and commemorate this masterpiece of Late Ritwick Kumar Ghatak in her own parlance of cinema, which would go BEYOND BORDERS.

BEYOND BORDERS is not just a typical documentary film having a retro-effect to talk aloud in Ritwick’s language; instead, it’s the docu-fiction by a today’s Nita whom we rather know as Sharmila.

Not to mention, BEYOND BORDERS was already selected for International Conference of Cinema 2010 in February. It was also screened as the inaugural film at International Womens’ Day film festival in Kolkata and Pune. It was selected for Haryana International Film Festival too. And now, it is going to be screened at Kolkata Film Festival 2010 – the biggest non-competitive film festival in the world. It has also earned the brownie points from the Indian select for Venice Film Festival.

Given this, the DVDs of BEYOND BORDERS are about to be launched soon. These DVDs comprise of priceless and never-before-heard interviews of the three actresses: Supriya Devi, Gita Dey and Late Gita Ghatak (who went to her heavenly abode shortly after the shooting, so Sharmila’s film captured the last days of this cult Rabindra Sangeet singer & actress), making of the film and some interesting tidbits. Thus, for the reason obvious, each of the DVDs is going to be a pride and prized possession or collector’s item to the connoisseurs of movie and entertainment.

So, go BEYOND BORDERS notwithstanding every partition in life, for, the name of the game is ONLY survival, and '…still we survive'!

Oh Dumbo Oh

Oh Dumbo Oh by mesushovan

O Maa Phire Esho Naa

O Maa Phire Esho Naa by mesushovan

This composition of mine is my tribute to my late mother... whom I had lost a long, long time back, forever.

Tarar deshe achhe maa
Jhikimiki hashe maa
hmm...hmmm... hmmmm
Brishti hoye neme ashe
Sobuj ghashe bhalobashe
O... ooooo.. O maa

Aajo mone pore seidin
Jedin tumi chole gele
Aami chhilem anekdure
Swapno bhanga tepantore
Ekaki, ekaki...
Niye bedona
Boba kanna
Path ajana
Ghar achena... chhilo je amar

O maa, O maa, phire esho na

Jani tomaye kandiyechhilam
Abadhyotar dashyiponaye
Abhimaner anol rathe
Pari dile akashpane
Tumi nei, tumi nei...
Niye bedona
Boba kanna
Path ajana
Ghar achena... chhilo je amar

O maa, O maa, phire esho na

Cheye dekho bodle gechhi
Safol aami thik hoyechhi
Prithibitao goriye hante
Amar taale shudhuie nache
Cheye dekho na, cheye dekho na...
Niye bedona
Boba kanna
Path ajana
Ghar achena...aajo je amar

O maa, O maa, phire esho na

We need YOU. Really.

Once upon a time there was a little boy. The boy would always dream to become a singer or a painter. But he could neither become a singer nor a painter. Instead, he’d to become an engineer turned advertising copy writer to earn money in a faster way. Firstly, to survive somehow and then to maintain his lifestyle i.e. “style sans life”.

He’s quite successful today in his profession, if others’ notion or consideration is to be taken into serious account. However, to himself, he’s ever been an unsuccessful painter; a ruined singer.

The abovementioned lines are not the excerpts off any melodramatic saga or tear jerking opera. Rather, it’s a naked testimony of how a kid had to surrender his dream and natural talent to financial pressure, which had hardly allowed him to breathe easily, since childhood.

Unfortunately, this reality had not only occurred to that particular boy but also it’s been prevalent phenomena, even NOW, for innumerable kids across India; precisely who hail from the families with precarious socio-economic conditions.

Given such situations, those kids are expected to sacrifice their dreams and talents, as early as possible, because in our society sacred goats are acknowledged, appreciated and accepted as obedient children. And, not to mention, this kind of obedience provides those children with roti (bread), kapda (dress) and makan (house) without nerve-wrenching struggles, day in and day out, at home or outside.

Nonetheless, there are still the rebels, thankfully. Who hate to concede defeats; loathe selling off their dreams and talents at a cheap price for lifeless safety, security and styles; and are game to fight, fight and fight… only to WIN.

For those never-say-die spirits; indomitable kids; rare talents… it’s time to do something. Substantial and meaningful.

So, presenting Hu‘e’man Karkhana – an open forum formed and firmed out by a set of people who are willing and tireless in their efforts to instrument and ensure “Human Excellence with Different Hues”.

Unlike me-too or run-of-the-mill NGOs, this forum ONLY works for the kids who don’t have sound economic backgrounds but do have exceptional talents to excel… up to the pinnacle of success in the domains of performing art and unconventional territories such as music, dance, acting, sport, photography, painting, and the like.

Hu‘e’man Karkhana primarily takes care of the three basic needs of a kid. That are “nutrition i.e. food”, “education i.e. knowledge” and “communication i.e. expression and presentation”.

On the basis of needs and requirements, a kid can get four types of functional support from Hu‘e’man Karkhana in the forms of: (a) Financial Aids; (b) Vocational Training; (c) Advertising, Marketing, and Promotional Helps; and (d) Assignment / Engagement / Program / Endorsement Management.

Needless to say, this endeavor of Hu‘e’man Karkhana requires everyone’s support, active participation and help. For funds, and functionalities.

Irrespective of your status as a corporate house or as an individual, if you reckon that you envision our vision and thus can fuel our mission with your time, contacts, and currencies, you are MOST welcome to effect and ensure Human Excellence with Different Hues… being a Hu‘e’man to Hu‘e’man Karkhana.

For any clarification in order to know how you can help a kid, feel ABSOLUTELY free to send in your lines at rana12feb@gmail.com

After all, please remember, “Alone we fight but we only win TOGETHER, and none of us fights to lose.” So we, at Hu‘e’man Karkhana, really need you.

*PS: A l’il singing sensation who’s been participating in the ongoing Sa Re Ga Ma Pa L’il Champs 2010 on Zee Bangla is already being taken care of by us at Hu‘e’man Karkhana.

Selfishness is Selflessness!

It’s one globe. Irrespective of a few fundamentalist wankers and their errant jerking off spree, here and there, to divide our world into parts. Mostly, in the name of different isms and conned issues based on race, religion, caste, community, terror, politics, war, strike, and the list goes on.

The sole objective of propagating such mushy activities is nothing but to create disturbance and dissonance among lives with an ambition to make everyone’s life difficult, worldwide.

So that the funda “life is complex” can be sold off to people at large as a problem first and then some heinously crappy concepts can be offered to the same target audience as solutions to that problem.

It’s not that that we don’t know or understand it. But, our mentality has somewhat become like this that unless and until our own home or Rome is burning, we fail to realise that the same fire which is burning other today can also char us tomorrow.

Which is why; you, me, he, she, they kinda pronouns’ viability needs to be redefined, soon. In place of them, the pronouns We, Us will do better, I guess. Not in grammatical sense but in terms of commonsense.

For, if anyone of us is motivated to be selfish, I politely ask you to refer to the Maslow Pyramid of needs before you prefer to pursue your motivation. And then relate to your motivation in line with the hierarchy of needs.

In case, you couldn’t relate, never mind, I’m making it more lucid for you to comprehend what selfishness is all about.

“Selfishness is nothing but selflessness.”

Wondering!? Considering me a mad and calling my name for that? Please do. After a while, take a break and read on…

You become selfish for what?

To do better and get more, right? Net-net to achieve maximum success in life.

No harm. As you must go up in the hierarchy, so if you are acting selfish to get it done, you are doing the right thing.

Now imagine your gradual climb to success vis-à-vis selfishness as a pyramid. And you have reached on the top. Precisely, at the tip i.e. the pinnacle or vertex of success.

From there, you are looking on and it’s showing everything, everyone is under you. But mind that, none is with you then or beside for that matter. Because at the apex (of success) there is no horizontal space to accommodate anyone else but you.

On the contrary, it says that success is better established, amplified and enjoyed, if, and when shared. However, you can at the most offer things to people who are under you but can’t share anything with them. Be it success or happiness.

And even if you wish to share, they will either fear you or will be in awe because of your positional advantage… and neither fear nor awe is anyway conducive to the act called sharing.

So, how would you justify your success or your selfishness is worth your life, living and lifestyle?

Since, when none is with you or beside you, your existence of self doesn’t apply in reality or logically. Simple reason being, one can’t stand first or last when he’s the only one in his class.

That means, “self = world” - where all of us belong to, side-by-side, together. And this proves the fact that in spite of our best efforts we can never be selfish but always selfless.

Hence, whenever you tend to be selfish, please take pride in self for trying to be selfless.

Death of a friendship. Birth of a shadow.

A death is always painful. The pain becomes unbearable if the death occurs to a childhood friend. Someone with whom so many days, so much things had been shared. Naturally, unabashedly and gleefully!

Pratik (name changed, intentionally) was such a pal of mine.

I met him through a common friend while three of us used to stay together in the same locality.

Pratik was an ever chirpy character. And, not to mention, a genuine prey to my nonstop practical jokes and leg pulling. But he would never complain rather used to accept my menace and me smilingly.

School days got over… college days flew by… I left Kolkata and my attachment with Pratik gradually turned into a deep detachment.

When I came back to Kolkata, I tried to re-establish the connection; however, god knows why, the same old tinkering was felt missing all the time during our new series of rendezvous.

That trademark chirpiness, happiness, smiles, and every little thing happened to be absent on and inside Pratik.

I used to wonder, why?! What happened to my dear friend?

I kept enquiring into him and his activities from others and time to time from him himself. But, in spite of my dog-digging, I could never manage any bone of and about Pratik.

With time, tension and daily grinding of life, the detachment became a huge distance once again between him and me.

All of a sudden yesterday itself i.e. on April 21, 2010, my cell rang. I picked up the call. Another school friend voiced out, “Sushovan, Pratik is no more.”

“Pratik is no more.” Such a simple expression, isn’t it? My prank-punching-bag is no more.

So, I didn’t react at all to the call. I took a cab from office, first to reach Pratik’s house then to arrive at the crematorium.

Pratk was lying there. His face was covered with a white sheet of cloth. Honestly, I didn’t feel like seeing his face even for once for the last time.

I cared, and still care a hoot for his death. I have always been concerned about his life; his live existence… and frankly, I generally give a damn to death – whoever embraces it.

I am neither sad nor down with Pratik’s demise. Instead, I’m cross. I’m angry and I’m irritated like a swine amidst the saint.

Because, my childhood friend didn’t bother to let me know that he didn’t have any job for the last one and half years. He didn’t feel like telling me about his prolonged and killer diabetes; about his eye infection; about his septicemia.

My childhood friend was shy to ask for any help or support from me.

So, he decided to die like a bloody loser; like a creeper; like an insect without bothering me at all.

And why didn’t he ask for it? Because he didn’t want me to oblige him.

Never knew, nor wish to know as a matter of fact, from when “friendship has become an obligation”.

Truly, while a friend dies like this, he actually kills the very existence and essence of the feeling called “friendship” and that hardly makes me sad rather leaves me to live like a mad in the world of silent pandemonium and never-to-be-filled-up void in the shadow of mine.

And it hurts. Really hurts.

Do the FKP

Almost two out of every three are spiritual nowadays. Happiness and contentment are on sale like hotcakes from the counters of spiritual gurus and book publishers all around. However, notwithstanding such an overdose of spirituality for ushering in total peace and global harmony; still there is no end to bomb blasts, riots and fights, divorces, etc within societies, localities and families.

Does it mean that spirituality is not so good then?

No, it’s not like that. Instead, I think there is a wide gap or gulf very much evident and prevalent in our understanding of the FKP i.e. the three basic premises: Faith, Knowledge and Practice of spirituality.

Let me begin with Faith.

What is Faith?

Believing in something rather blindly and following it thereafter? Not really. If it is so, then there would have been no difference between fundamentalism and Faith.

Faith is the base and the art and science of setting up targets for self, as well as for others and in the process developing individual and collective trust to meet those targets, gradually.

If life is a ship, Faith is the rudder. And, as it’s said that a rudderless ship never reaches its goal, exactly in the same way it can be told that a faithless life is never able to live or even survive.

Knowledge is not only about knowing things. Well, there lies in at least a rudimentary difference between Knowledge and mugging. Knowledge is actually the composite effect of theories, practicalities, Faith and of course commonsense. And it gets profound, proven and kind of full-proof while shared with others.

A true Knowledge should always be receptive to others’ doubts and challenges; should welcome debates and arguments; and should be conclusive enough but reclusive with an openness to acknowledge, appreciate and accept the omnipresence of lives and their spirit on the different and relative scales such as socio-economic background, education, culture, language, etc.

Knowledge is the compus of the ship called life.

Withdraw it from life, and it can be seen and felt how directionless, meaningless and futile life will become, then and there, ensuring nothing but a pathetic finish.

If Faith is the rudder and Knowledge is the compus, then what is Practice in the ship?

Practice is the driving wheel, which helps one sail the ship i.e. life, successfully. Lest Practice is absent, no Faith or Knowledge can do any magic or miracle for anyone for sure. In fact, Practice holds the key for one to understand everyday, every minute whether his / her Faith and Knowledge are adequate, right and productive or not in light of reality.

No Practice means zero Faith and zero Knowledge and simply a defunct life in the bed of only shies, lies and cries, bringing injuries and insults to the real spirit and happiness of life and living.

Which is why, it’s better to keep things simple and form the life’s triangle with Faith, Knowledge and Practice (FKP) in order to be elevated on earth by treading in the path of spirituality, which is no boon from heaven but you and your contemplations and complementing actions.

After all, life is action, not just contemplation. So, DO your Karma, do the FKP!

PS: If you thought that I had made sense, feel free to write back at rana12feb@gmail.com to share your FKP with me.

Always Use Your Lemon

From IQ to EQ… to SQ (Spiritual Quotient); organizations, irrespective of their size and status, have always been quite concerned about various “quotients or factors” for putting the best “organizational practice or behavior” in place.

Now, “What is this organizational behavior… how is it going to be functional and productive for an organization… and why so?”

An organizational behavior can lucidly be defined as an organization’s attitude and actions towards its internal as well as external audience in terms of care, concern, compassion, communication, comfort, convenience, transparency, trust, responsibility, performance, and result, precisely ROI – Return on Investment.

And this “investment” is not only restricted to financial matters but also is extended to the investments on time, energy, and most importantly, on Intelligence, Emotion, and Spirit that involve Mind, Heart and Soul, respectively.

Which is why, the functionality and the productivity of an organization can be enhanced up to a superlative level simply by putting articulate attention on “interpersonal relationship” – present and prevalent in between any two persons related to the organization.

In fact, this type of interpersonal relationships is actually the governing force that works behind the success of an organizational behavior.

Since, an organization is not just a big premise or palatial complex of concrete, which comprises furniture, computers, servers, balance sheets, etc., it becomes a super-power only because of its “manpower”… and in the current context of business – as happening worldwide – this manpower should be explained and exclaimed as the “Human Power” developed and evolved by IES: Intelligence, Emotion, and Spirit.

It’s often observed and experienced that the major concern areas in interpersonal relationship for an organization are employees, clients or customers, consumers in general, shareholders, government or authoritative personnel, media, and competitors… and all those different set of people and their varied range of ego, expectation, intention and interest.

Therefore, an organizational behavior is nothing but subject to conflict of interest; ego fights; positional power game; battle of minds; shrewd politics; and the like practiced by none other than men and women playing their different and respective roles to the benefit (or the loss) of an organization.

Given this, an organization can only thrive on its organizational behavior, if the said behavior gets expressed as a positive outcome of productive interpersonal relationship.

And while the productivity or the productive nature of such an interpersonal relationship is the key to success for an organization and its behavior, the friction; the conflict; the battle; and the exhaustion of Mind, Heart, and Soul i.e. the stress on IES: Intelligence, Emotion, and Spirit are inevitable. Thereby creating problems and tension between two persons or among groups, everyday, in profession or business.

Thus, to minimize this problem pertaining to interpersonal relationship on account of organizational behavior, in case the “lemon squeezing” experience is taken into consideration as the springboard, I guess, all of us can understand that how easy it is in reality to find the solution for such a delicate interpersonal problem… and that too, within the problem itself.

Basically, while you fight with your colleague, boss, client and the like… you tend to reap in rich benefit for the organization you serve. Exactly in the same vein, your opposition also does try to get benefit for the organization he / she works for.

That means; to achieve a “collective or, for that matter, an equal benefit”, both you and your fighting opposition do the same thing i.e. fight with the other i.e. squeeze the lemons of your respective IES: Intelligence, Emotion, and Spirit.

Now, “Why you do so?”

THINK.

“Do you and your warring opposition squeeze the lemons to taste the bitter peels, or the refreshing juice that comes out of the conflict you two indulge in?”

Of course, you squeeze your share of lemon for the juice only, so does the other person who fights with you in profession or business.

And, as “this juice is nothing but that collective or same benefit” for which ACTUALLY a fight shoots up in between two persons in an organization, you should never ever pay any heed to the bitter lemon peels that, mostly, unfortunately, and rather ironically, become the bone of contention in an interpersonal relationship in the form of ego hassle; professional rivalry; and all other negative and worthless sentiments.

Hence, in order to benefit from the best of organizational behavior based on interpersonal relationship… “Always Use Your Lemon!”

PS: This article is based on what I shared with the executives at India's one of the premier management institutes on February 06, 2010.

Five Fingers - The Marriage Made Easy

I had lost my parents quite early. As a result of their demise, I always had to work doubly hard in order to fulfill my emotional needs from other relationships. In the process, I have learnt how valuable the word “relationship” is and how it helps one exist and excel in life.

That’s why, when India’s one of the leading matrimonial portals approached me to enhance the site’s creative components, I became really bullish about the scope of work with them. In fact, it took me only 5mins to give them my positive nod.

Besides the mandatory match-making service and solution, the portal has also got a counselling cell. Wherein they provide site members with pre as well as post marriage psycho-solution to help people get stable on mind in nuptial relationships.

Following is an article, which I have created for the portal, facilitating them to convey the nuances of a (matrimonial) relationship in the most simplistic way.

I have used “five fingers” as the metaphor to describe the different stages or phases of a marriage or nuptial knot because in a marriage holding hands is quite symbolic and those are fingers only that help one hold anything.

I have given the title “Five Fingers – The Marriage Made Easy” to the article and do hope that you enjoy it.

First Finger Phase – by Little Finger

This phase is the pre-marriage period. Precisely when love, courtship, negotiation, etc. take place. In this phase, mind or emotional equilibrium remains at a very dubious, vacillating, tender, and touchy stage. At the drop of a hat, it seems anger, frustration, disbelief, etc. settle on one's nose, entailing avoidance, dissonance or may be even a pre-mature break up.

Hence, open communications, absolute transparency, presenting one’s original or true self, etc. are a few factors... imperative in this phase. If it’s not done in this phase then in the later phases there is every possibility that things will turn ugly and bitter up to an irreparable and injurious extent.

The major lacuna, which generally occurs in this phase, is a partner’s trials or efforts to impress the other partner, mostly by concealing the truth. This is dangerous, since once the sugarcoat gets off… the love or emotion pill tastes like quinine.

Second Finger Phase – by Ring Finger

This phase is the honeymoon period of a matrimonial relationship. In this phase, everything is hunky-dory and euphoric, and life seems to be nothing but a utopia.

Unfortunately, in more than 90% of cases, this phase gets over at a rapid speed.

In this phase, sex, promises, commitment, dedication, etc. are the prime factors that hold the key.

The major shortcoming in this phase is the constant rose glasses on eyes. Thereby getting too much bogged down into myopic activities, as if there is no tomorrow. And when tomorrow arrives with its all turbulent spins and whirls, the lovey-dovey partners succumb to the future pretty haplessly and hopelessly, calling their short-sightedness and unplanned steps as destiny or (bad) luck.

Third Finger Phase – by Middle Finger

This phase in a marriage is really very critical and painful too. In this stage, both the partners begin to care a damn for the other. One’s mid-finger remains always up for his / her better-half. So, this phase can also be termed as “fuck phase or FYI”.

Actually, bloated ego, false pride, professional pressure, unnecessary lies, ex-matri interest and exploration, unwanted familial and societal intrusion, etc. are the evil factors that generally do the massacre into love and emotion in this phase.

Steel in character, high-degree of patience, perseverance, self-belief and brutal honesty are the spices very much required in this phase to save the dish of marriage from turning bland here.

The major pitfalls in this phase are getting carried away by others’ suggestion, allowing own mind to stop functioning, over reacting, taking self-pity, trying to get short-term solutions of problems in hand without addressing or looking into the crux of the problems, etc.

Fourth Finger Phase – by Index Finger

This phase is the saddest, the worst, and the sorriest stage that can happen to any marriage. In this phase both the partners simply become enemies to each other. From their actions and reactions; activities and attitude, it seems as if they have never been known to each other and would really be happy if the other dies, immediately and unceremoniously.

In this phase, getting into or indulging in shameless blame game i.e. pointing one’s index finger to the other is so common that often it feels marriage is nothing but the biggest miscarriage of emotions and feelings.

But, it actually is not the case. To save marriage in this phase, or to protect self as well as to guard the hostile partner, the factors that really come handy here are dignified silence, apt and mature interactions, giving away ample space, ignoring petty temptations or provocations, and maintaining a good mental as well as physical health with the help of music, reading, introspection, knowledge-sharing, exercise and meditation.

The loophole – which can also be marked as “manhole” here in this particular phase – is slipping into the muck-full of gutter or into the quicksand with an unhealthy, heinous and inhuman ambition to kill self or the partner.

And frankly, this kind of mental disorder or insanity in one’s thought process is simply against any kind of humanism or humanity, thus deserves only condemn and reprimand.

Fifth Finger Phase – by Thumb

This phase is the most satisfying, rewarding and happy stage that one can enjoy minus any worry at all in his / her marriage.

In this phase, every negative emotion or feeling either subsides or evaporates forever. Only maturity prevails then, and the real meaning of companionship surfaces under the full moon of love, care, affection, concern and all other self-less and very positive thoughts and emotions.

[If you are an Indian and / or understand Hindi, please refer to the song “Tere bina zindagi se koi shikwa to nahi...” from the movie “Andhi” to relate to this phase like anything.]

The key factors in this phase are self-actulisation, gaining maturity, knowing how to check in temper and chew in words, and understanding the fact that love is strength but not weakness and, last but not least, compatibility is a “workable ability” that never ever comes to one on a platter by sheer magic. Instead, this ability can only be honed when both the partners understand and realise that no more they are two separate identities rather have become an “integrated or compact identity” for life.

Just the reason, I would like to decipher the word compatibility as “the ability to act, achieve, accomplish, and actualise being a compact unit, together.”

The major roadblock in this phase is feeling bad or lamenting on the time, energy, emotion and money lost in the third phase and the fourth phase. It’s not needed at all. Rather, in this stage one must embrace and enjoy the treasure of happiness and contentment of being together – that has never been so enriching in any other phases in his / her marriage.

PS:
In case, you too are suffering from any disorder in your matri-relationship, feel free to go and visit a good counsellor for help. Getting psychological help doesn’t mean that you are a psycho-patient or mad. So, open your mind before you open your eyes… to see and foresee the real sun of happiness, everyday!

Cricket says it all

Is cricket just a game or an insect? Is it a colonial hangover or a tremendous scope to bet on and earn a few quick bucks?

Many a question has done its round on my mind, and finally I could conclude that cricket is a brilliant lesson for every couple to make their marriage successful forever.

Have I sounded weird? If your answer is affirmative, I acknowledge and appreciate your doubt on my statement.

And since you are doubtful, I guess it’s my responsibility to help you clear your doubt.

Equate your marriage mandap with a cricket pitch. Your marriage is as if you are going to begin and continue your innings with your partner.

There will be plenty of people around. Call them spectators, opponents, team mates, society, family, relatives, friends, colleagues, or anything else, but their prying eyes will always be on you two, so will their said and unsaid expectations for the success or the failure of your partnership or innings.

Amidst all these, you two have to perform, score runs, build up your innings, make centuries, and succeed like anything as a pair.

During your batting, expect not only lollypop half-volleys or full-tosses that you can send over boundary rope all the time but also get ready to receive the snort of deliveries like yorkers, beamers, bouncers, and googlies that certainly can send you or your partner to pavilion at any point of time, forcing you or your partner leave the other midway of your innings.

In cricket, it’s called OUT and in marriage, it’s called DIVORCE.

It’s not like that that in case you are out your partner can’t find a new partner and bat on or if your partner is out you can’t carry on your innings with someone else. But, with every new partner the momentum of the innings suffers a lot because every new partnership needs a new beginning, a new set of game plan and strategy, a new set of understanding, and so on.

Then what to do?

Before you get out or your partner does, make sure you along with your partner – with whom you have started your innings first – have tried to play well within yourselves. In order to guard your respective wickets i.e. your respective positions at the crease.

For that, if your partner is not playing well, you try to play doubly well and if you are not fairing up to the mark, at least hang around there without throwing away your wicket and let your partner build and carry the innings in tandem with you.

Mind you, when boundaries and sixers are hard to come by, you and your partner have to rotate strikes for singles and twos as much as possible. Otherwise, your score won’t move and gradually, rather helplessly, your innings will be exposed to all’s unwanted concern, rebuke, banter, boo, sledging, tips, and what not.

Moreover, feel absolutely free and happy to run even for your partner’s runs, because unless you run hard and seriously for him / her, you won’t really realise why your partner also runs for your runs.

During innings building, this hands-on lesson on sharing the turf together is actually the real and best knowledge, which you can get and exploit in life.

Ultimately, when cricket says it all, why don’t you just play it on, on, and on… together?

2Is – a narration of Incest India

Screw you, Chetan! That’s the only way I can meet up my grudge against you. I’m pissed, and crossed too. Yes dude! Because you took the sheen off me with your latest novel “2 states – the story of my marriage”. Unfair; you have not only stolen my plot but also shared something - very dear to me - with the world.

Anyway, as every coin has got two sides, I also do have dual thoughts. Hence, on a second thought, I think I should salute you for writing that story; hence accept my gratitude and love. 377 is legal now, so accepting my “love” is no big deal.

True, in India, boy loves girl. Girl loves boy. Boy needs to scratch girl’s father’s balls. Girl needs to smell boy’s mother’s fart as jasmine. Boy’s family and girl’s family need to press and pinch each other’s bosoms and butts and so on. And everything is done for a greater cause called “marriage” and collective “happiness”.

Unless and until families get involved how could a marriage be successful? Correct, it’s impossible. Since, a boy needs to seek permission from in-laws in order to fuck his wife, so does a girl to get fucked. Indeed, family prestige is well and truly dependent on this social legalization procedure to legitimate sex, for life.

Love may happen at a boy and a girl’s will. But, marriage, no way! If it happens that way, shit, what will people say? We are social animals though mistakenly considered by a few jerks (read scientists) as “Homo sapiens”. Balls to those nerds’ (read scientists) face and their knowledge!

Marriage is an occasion, a public event, such a circus, seriously. To show off, to goof-up, to hush up, to go up on social ladder, and to do so many things, that only god knows… or perhaps he doesn’t. Because god hardly needs to get into marriage in order to make a goddess pregnant. If someone is god, his all illegal children can be considered as his boon, so what’s the heck. Fuck free and enjoy the worship, worldwide!

On the hindsight, engaging family has a real advantage in marriage. If things don’t workout well between a boy and a girl, sharing and bearing responsibilities of this mismatch can be minimized. No wonder, why a boy and a girl love to love and make love before marriage at their will but shrink rather willingly into their familial pressure when their marriage needs to be taken place and continued, successfully, on their own.

In case families are involved, it becomes much easier for a girl and a boy to inflate the elders’ ego out of proportion so that even a minor misunderstanding, argument, or difference between them can be exploited… thereby ensuring a breakup or a divorce just as a cakewalk.

In India, a marriage is still expected to be sacredly and stringently monogamous, and that creates suffocation to some extent in a couple’s life of late – when things like multiple-relations and partner-swapping are very much in vogue.

Being successful in profession is also the need of the hour; hence divorce is not a bad solution either over marriage. A divorced person spends more time at work and this just suits the colleagues, the bosses, the clients… as the name of the game is “productivity” and sometimes “re-productivity” – if there is someone or a group available to sponsor the cost of an abortion or an accidentally born child’s incidental care.

Plus, when family shield is available, courtesy parental blindness and offspring’s manipulation skill, making the mockery of a marriage is a good fun! For instance, if parents select a boy, a girl can jolly well be kissed in a car, get fucked in a hotel room… courtship, you know… however, if a girl gets married to a boy against her parents’ consent, even after marriage, she is not supposed to see her husband because if she does so, it’s a sin.

A mother has always been extra concerned and ultra sensitive in India. She is doting to the core. That’s why, she might forget to check on her daughter whether she (the girl) had ever gone to school or college but will never forget to check her daughter’s boyfriend’s or husband’s passbook. Alternatively, a boy’s mother is equally proactive in understanding her daughter-in-law’s father and his weaknesses – which can be cashed in on, incessantly.

Simple money matters, to strengthen the "bond" between two families as marriage shouldn’t happen between only two individuals, so let’s make it a “families-fuck-together affair”.

If blood is not involved, no marriage can be honoured in India, for, who the hell friends are! Right, blood is everything. And if it is, let’s make it “incest India”. Let’s call it “2Is”. Let’s allow father to screw his daughter and mother to get screwed by her son. Everything will be kept within blood then. Easily. Conveniently. And family ties will be more solid and concrete than ever before as a result of this blood or bloody involvement.

So, what are you doing? Screwing, or getting screwed up? Socially, of course.

Can never be a human...

My late mom used to think I’m talented. My late father would reckon I’m intelligent. To my siblings I’m rare. My nephews consider me as their best friend. The relatives hail me as a living joke-machine. My teachers felt and still feel I’m a good student. My ex-series of girlfriends thought I’m impossible, incorrigible, funny, honest, caring, sexy and what not. My ex and present set of bosses thought and think I’m professional to the core but quite temperamental as well. Clients believe I’m their greater ROI (Return on Investment). Markets imagine I’m easily saleable and purchasable. Friends trust me as loyal. Foes fear my fierce revenge. Competitors loathe me for my “I’m only game to win attitude”. Readers love to read my lines. Consumers acknowledge my ads. Awards welcome my entries. Media sometimes take interest in me. Listeners won’t mind hearing me crooning or singing. Composers don’t kick my ass, hating my lyrics. A few institutes summon me time to time for lectures and training. There has never been any dearth of respect, admiration, and accolades. The packaging has always been very well done and maintained. Two lives have continuously been lived and led with ease and élan – one outside the packet with an expiry date on it and the other inside the packet without an expiry date, however might expire any moment. Perhaps that’s why, I was, I’m and I will ever be and remain PRODUCTIVE – a Product, which (who) is Creative! Though it’s unfortunate, that with my all puns intended and unintended; I can never afford to live as a HUMAN, only.

My journey with a TEACHER

The richness of the saying: Simple Living, High Thinking is actually embedded in the saying itself. True, unless and until a mind is free from the complexities of living, it can’t function to think anything high.

Albeit, most of us prefer to follow the reverse adage that might sound as, “Complex Living, Petty Thinking.”

Fortunately, I used to know and relate to a person, since my birth, who happened to personify that simple living, high thinking stature like anything.

He was a schoolteacher by profession. A freedom fighter. A compulsive benevolent man known for his philanthropy. And someone who had given a damn even to the epidemic disease called plague during pre-independence in order to save lives at Kolkata (erstwhile Calcutta).

Post independence he travelled to Myanmar (previously which was Burma). There he explored his luck and maintained his life kingsize. Thereafter, he couldn’t feel like taking the nationality of that country and was adamant to remain only in dhoti instead of being lungi or sarong clad.

As a result, he and his wife along with their little kids had to come back to India as refugees. On his return to his very own Kolkata among his relatives, he found that the things were changed.

He along with his family was simply driven out of his own houses by his beloved cousin bro and sis. Who not only took the undue advantage of his long absence at his own houses but also made sure that those establishments belonged to them only.

He smiled back at his cousins and gifted them his own abodes.

His struggle started. In a new vein, as if in a new country – as a refugee in his own motherland.

The HUMAN – yes, he was a human more than a man – was pretty clear on his moves that he would slog like hell but none of his family members. Especially his little kids were not really supposed to suffer, as per his strict principle, irrespective of any circumstance.

In line with that, there was never ever any shortage of foods and books in their supply to the kids. Because at his family, foods for thought was always the priority as against the thought for foods. He knew it for a fact and quite rightly so that before his children would live in a “house” or drive a “car”, it was imperative for them to know and understand the real worth of “H, O, U, S, E” and “ C, A, R”.

Besides, there was never any slackness of fatherly care and concern on his part even for his students. In fact, a lackluster student with almost no merit happened to be his blue-eyed boy. And to make him pass and successful in an examination had always been his challenge. For that, in addition to knowledge such a student was by default privileged to have shelter, food, and the like, if need be, without any discrimination… between his own children and him (the student).

Moreover, his treatment to his children was more like their best friend than a father. He was much ahead of his age and never cowered to anticipate and accept any change toward contemporariness.

Plus, his direction and lesson to his children and pupils around was simple, “Society is for Humans but not the other way round. Thus, it’s better to live as a lonely Human than somehow surviving as a social animal in a herd.”

Given this, his children and his favourite students alike hardly disappointed him. They attained the status and the position he always hoped for them. However, he remained the same.

For instance, despite of the best efforts put forth, none could ever make him wear anything costly or glossy but his trademark white Panjabi and Dhoti made of cotton only.

But, like a bold from the blues, when he lost his wife after 45 years of togetherness, for the first time in life he showed a sign of nerves. His somewhat rock-solid composure began to feel an uncanny kind of restlessness and helplessness. Loneliness at home used to drive him outside more often than not, to some extent unnecessarily.

Indiscipline, unrest and stress and strain due to overwork got palpable in his attitude quite in contrast to his original calm-self. Pretty painfully, he was like indulging himself in self-destruction.

In the process what was expected to happen, happened actually.

He had to face two major attacks. First the cerebral one followed by the cardiac within an hour to be precise.

And, thanks to those health mayhems, finally on October 18th, THE TEACHER left his classroom and home forever.

“The teacher was my father.”