... still we survive, BEYOND BORDERS

What is ‘partition’? Just a division between two parts of anything, or something which, for a change, might draw our attention because living itself is nothing but such a wide partition spread out between life and death! And this truth becomes even more evident, if you can experience how it feels to be separated, of course much against your will and wish from your land, values, principles, families, friends, and from everything, everyone you love in order to survive, at least, if not live the fullest.

That’s why; partition is probably life’s one of the most traumatic shakeups, which challenges one’s survival, immediately, where the person’s sex, caste, creed, colour, religion, etc. remain simply inconsequential.

Though a partition sends away one’s life to astray with utmost disdain and ruthlessness and impacts lives of men and women alike; still it affects and, to some extent, infects the women’s health and psyche, bringing unthinkable and unbearable pain and agony to them.

As a matter of fact, what Nita, her mother and her sister had gone through – as picturised in the movie ‘Meghe Dhaka Tara’ – by falling prey to the evils of the partition of India is not at all an alienated phenomenon to the women of today who also delve deeper into such feelings and pathos in their respective lives, thanks to many partitions and borders which they need to break... to go beyond. Either being different from Nita, her mother and sister or being totally indifferent even towards self.

When all that happens somewhere, sometimes, unnoticed, Sharmila Maiti thought of getting behind the lens to let her, as well as every woman’s senses mingle with ours. And, since 2010 incidentally happens to be the 50th year of the movie ‘Meghe Dhaka Tara’, Sharmila chose to salute and commemorate this masterpiece of Late Ritwick Kumar Ghatak in her own parlance of cinema, which would go BEYOND BORDERS.

BEYOND BORDERS is not just a typical documentary film having a retro-effect to talk aloud in Ritwick’s language; instead, it’s the docu-fiction by a today’s Nita whom we rather know as Sharmila.

Not to mention, BEYOND BORDERS was already selected for International Conference of Cinema 2010 in February. It was also screened as the inaugural film at International Womens’ Day film festival in Kolkata and Pune. It was selected for Haryana International Film Festival too. And now, it is going to be screened at Kolkata Film Festival 2010 – the biggest non-competitive film festival in the world. It has also earned the brownie points from the Indian select for Venice Film Festival.

Given this, the DVDs of BEYOND BORDERS are about to be launched soon. These DVDs comprise of priceless and never-before-heard interviews of the three actresses: Supriya Devi, Gita Dey and Late Gita Ghatak (who went to her heavenly abode shortly after the shooting, so Sharmila’s film captured the last days of this cult Rabindra Sangeet singer & actress), making of the film and some interesting tidbits. Thus, for the reason obvious, each of the DVDs is going to be a pride and prized possession or collector’s item to the connoisseurs of movie and entertainment.

So, go BEYOND BORDERS notwithstanding every partition in life, for, the name of the game is ONLY survival, and '…still we survive'!

Oh Dumbo Oh

Oh Dumbo Oh by mesushovan

O Maa Phire Esho Naa

O Maa Phire Esho Naa by mesushovan

This composition of mine is my tribute to my late mother... whom I had lost a long, long time back, forever.

Tarar deshe achhe maa
Jhikimiki hashe maa
hmm...hmmm... hmmmm
Brishti hoye neme ashe
Sobuj ghashe bhalobashe
O... ooooo.. O maa

Aajo mone pore seidin
Jedin tumi chole gele
Aami chhilem anekdure
Swapno bhanga tepantore
Ekaki, ekaki...
Niye bedona
Boba kanna
Path ajana
Ghar achena... chhilo je amar

O maa, O maa, phire esho na

Jani tomaye kandiyechhilam
Abadhyotar dashyiponaye
Abhimaner anol rathe
Pari dile akashpane
Tumi nei, tumi nei...
Niye bedona
Boba kanna
Path ajana
Ghar achena... chhilo je amar

O maa, O maa, phire esho na

Cheye dekho bodle gechhi
Safol aami thik hoyechhi
Prithibitao goriye hante
Amar taale shudhuie nache
Cheye dekho na, cheye dekho na...
Niye bedona
Boba kanna
Path ajana
Ghar achena...aajo je amar

O maa, O maa, phire esho na

We need YOU. Really.

Once upon a time there was a little boy. The boy would always dream to become a singer or a painter. But he could neither become a singer nor a painter. Instead, he’d to become an engineer turned advertising copy writer to earn money in a faster way. Firstly, to survive somehow and then to maintain his lifestyle i.e. “style sans life”.

He’s quite successful today in his profession, if others’ notion or consideration is to be taken into serious account. However, to himself, he’s ever been an unsuccessful painter; a ruined singer.

The abovementioned lines are not the excerpts off any melodramatic saga or tear jerking opera. Rather, it’s a naked testimony of how a kid had to surrender his dream and natural talent to financial pressure, which had hardly allowed him to breathe easily, since childhood.

Unfortunately, this reality had not only occurred to that particular boy but also it’s been prevalent phenomena, even NOW, for innumerable kids across India; precisely who hail from the families with precarious socio-economic conditions.

Given such situations, those kids are expected to sacrifice their dreams and talents, as early as possible, because in our society sacred goats are acknowledged, appreciated and accepted as obedient children. And, not to mention, this kind of obedience provides those children with roti (bread), kapda (dress) and makan (house) without nerve-wrenching struggles, day in and day out, at home or outside.

Nonetheless, there are still the rebels, thankfully. Who hate to concede defeats; loathe selling off their dreams and talents at a cheap price for lifeless safety, security and styles; and are game to fight, fight and fight… only to WIN.

For those never-say-die spirits; indomitable kids; rare talents… it’s time to do something. Substantial and meaningful.

So, presenting Hu‘e’man Karkhana – an open forum formed and firmed out by a set of people who are willing and tireless in their efforts to instrument and ensure “Human Excellence with Different Hues”.

Unlike me-too or run-of-the-mill NGOs, this forum ONLY works for the kids who don’t have sound economic backgrounds but do have exceptional talents to excel… up to the pinnacle of success in the domains of performing art and unconventional territories such as music, dance, acting, sport, photography, painting, and the like.

Hu‘e’man Karkhana primarily takes care of the three basic needs of a kid. That are “nutrition i.e. food”, “education i.e. knowledge” and “communication i.e. expression and presentation”.

On the basis of needs and requirements, a kid can get four types of functional support from Hu‘e’man Karkhana in the forms of: (a) Financial Aids; (b) Vocational Training; (c) Advertising, Marketing, and Promotional Helps; and (d) Assignment / Engagement / Program / Endorsement Management.

Needless to say, this endeavor of Hu‘e’man Karkhana requires everyone’s support, active participation and help. For funds, and functionalities.

Irrespective of your status as a corporate house or as an individual, if you reckon that you envision our vision and thus can fuel our mission with your time, contacts, and currencies, you are MOST welcome to effect and ensure Human Excellence with Different Hues… being a Hu‘e’man to Hu‘e’man Karkhana.

For any clarification in order to know how you can help a kid, feel ABSOLUTELY free to send in your lines at rana12feb@gmail.com

After all, please remember, “Alone we fight but we only win TOGETHER, and none of us fights to lose.” So we, at Hu‘e’man Karkhana, really need you.

*PS: A l’il singing sensation who’s been participating in the ongoing Sa Re Ga Ma Pa L’il Champs 2010 on Zee Bangla is already being taken care of by us at Hu‘e’man Karkhana.

Selfishness is Selflessness!

It’s one globe. Irrespective of a few fundamentalist wankers and their errant jerking off spree, here and there, to divide our world into parts. Mostly, in the name of different isms and conned issues based on race, religion, caste, community, terror, politics, war, strike, and the list goes on.

The sole objective of propagating such mushy activities is nothing but to create disturbance and dissonance among lives with an ambition to make everyone’s life difficult, worldwide.

So that the funda “life is complex” can be sold off to people at large as a problem first and then some heinously crappy concepts can be offered to the same target audience as solutions to that problem.

It’s not that that we don’t know or understand it. But, our mentality has somewhat become like this that unless and until our own home or Rome is burning, we fail to realise that the same fire which is burning other today can also char us tomorrow.

Which is why; you, me, he, she, they kinda pronouns’ viability needs to be redefined, soon. In place of them, the pronouns We, Us will do better, I guess. Not in grammatical sense but in terms of commonsense.

For, if anyone of us is motivated to be selfish, I politely ask you to refer to the Maslow Pyramid of needs before you prefer to pursue your motivation. And then relate to your motivation in line with the hierarchy of needs.

In case, you couldn’t relate, never mind, I’m making it more lucid for you to comprehend what selfishness is all about.

“Selfishness is nothing but selflessness.”

Wondering!? Considering me a mad and calling my name for that? Please do. After a while, take a break and read on…

You become selfish for what?

To do better and get more, right? Net-net to achieve maximum success in life.

No harm. As you must go up in the hierarchy, so if you are acting selfish to get it done, you are doing the right thing.

Now imagine your gradual climb to success vis-à-vis selfishness as a pyramid. And you have reached on the top. Precisely, at the tip i.e. the pinnacle or vertex of success.

From there, you are looking on and it’s showing everything, everyone is under you. But mind that, none is with you then or beside for that matter. Because at the apex (of success) there is no horizontal space to accommodate anyone else but you.

On the contrary, it says that success is better established, amplified and enjoyed, if, and when shared. However, you can at the most offer things to people who are under you but can’t share anything with them. Be it success or happiness.

And even if you wish to share, they will either fear you or will be in awe because of your positional advantage… and neither fear nor awe is anyway conducive to the act called sharing.

So, how would you justify your success or your selfishness is worth your life, living and lifestyle?

Since, when none is with you or beside you, your existence of self doesn’t apply in reality or logically. Simple reason being, one can’t stand first or last when he’s the only one in his class.

That means, “self = world” - where all of us belong to, side-by-side, together. And this proves the fact that in spite of our best efforts we can never be selfish but always selfless.

Hence, whenever you tend to be selfish, please take pride in self for trying to be selfless.

Death of a friendship. Birth of a shadow.

A death is always painful. The pain becomes unbearable if the death occurs to a childhood friend. Someone with whom so many days, so much things had been shared. Naturally, unabashedly and gleefully!

Pratik (name changed, intentionally) was such a pal of mine.

I met him through a common friend while three of us used to stay together in the same locality.

Pratik was an ever chirpy character. And, not to mention, a genuine prey to my nonstop practical jokes and leg pulling. But he would never complain rather used to accept my menace and me smilingly.

School days got over… college days flew by… I left Kolkata and my attachment with Pratik gradually turned into a deep detachment.

When I came back to Kolkata, I tried to re-establish the connection; however, god knows why, the same old tinkering was felt missing all the time during our new series of rendezvous.

That trademark chirpiness, happiness, smiles, and every little thing happened to be absent on and inside Pratik.

I used to wonder, why?! What happened to my dear friend?

I kept enquiring into him and his activities from others and time to time from him himself. But, in spite of my dog-digging, I could never manage any bone of and about Pratik.

With time, tension and daily grinding of life, the detachment became a huge distance once again between him and me.

All of a sudden yesterday itself i.e. on April 21, 2010, my cell rang. I picked up the call. Another school friend voiced out, “Sushovan, Pratik is no more.”

“Pratik is no more.” Such a simple expression, isn’t it? My prank-punching-bag is no more.

So, I didn’t react at all to the call. I took a cab from office, first to reach Pratik’s house then to arrive at the crematorium.

Pratk was lying there. His face was covered with a white sheet of cloth. Honestly, I didn’t feel like seeing his face even for once for the last time.

I cared, and still care a hoot for his death. I have always been concerned about his life; his live existence… and frankly, I generally give a damn to death – whoever embraces it.

I am neither sad nor down with Pratik’s demise. Instead, I’m cross. I’m angry and I’m irritated like a swine amidst the saint.

Because, my childhood friend didn’t bother to let me know that he didn’t have any job for the last one and half years. He didn’t feel like telling me about his prolonged and killer diabetes; about his eye infection; about his septicemia.

My childhood friend was shy to ask for any help or support from me.

So, he decided to die like a bloody loser; like a creeper; like an insect without bothering me at all.

And why didn’t he ask for it? Because he didn’t want me to oblige him.

Never knew, nor wish to know as a matter of fact, from when “friendship has become an obligation”.

Truly, while a friend dies like this, he actually kills the very existence and essence of the feeling called “friendship” and that hardly makes me sad rather leaves me to live like a mad in the world of silent pandemonium and never-to-be-filled-up void in the shadow of mine.

And it hurts. Really hurts.

Do the FKP

Almost two out of every three are spiritual nowadays. Happiness and contentment are on sale like hotcakes from the counters of spiritual gurus and book publishers all around. However, notwithstanding such an overdose of spirituality for ushering in total peace and global harmony; still there is no end to bomb blasts, riots and fights, divorces, etc within societies, localities and families.

Does it mean that spirituality is not so good then?

No, it’s not like that. Instead, I think there is a wide gap or gulf very much evident and prevalent in our understanding of the FKP i.e. the three basic premises: Faith, Knowledge and Practice of spirituality.

Let me begin with Faith.

What is Faith?

Believing in something rather blindly and following it thereafter? Not really. If it is so, then there would have been no difference between fundamentalism and Faith.

Faith is the base and the art and science of setting up targets for self, as well as for others and in the process developing individual and collective trust to meet those targets, gradually.

If life is a ship, Faith is the rudder. And, as it’s said that a rudderless ship never reaches its goal, exactly in the same way it can be told that a faithless life is never able to live or even survive.

Knowledge is not only about knowing things. Well, there lies in at least a rudimentary difference between Knowledge and mugging. Knowledge is actually the composite effect of theories, practicalities, Faith and of course commonsense. And it gets profound, proven and kind of full-proof while shared with others.

A true Knowledge should always be receptive to others’ doubts and challenges; should welcome debates and arguments; and should be conclusive enough but reclusive with an openness to acknowledge, appreciate and accept the omnipresence of lives and their spirit on the different and relative scales such as socio-economic background, education, culture, language, etc.

Knowledge is the compus of the ship called life.

Withdraw it from life, and it can be seen and felt how directionless, meaningless and futile life will become, then and there, ensuring nothing but a pathetic finish.

If Faith is the rudder and Knowledge is the compus, then what is Practice in the ship?

Practice is the driving wheel, which helps one sail the ship i.e. life, successfully. Lest Practice is absent, no Faith or Knowledge can do any magic or miracle for anyone for sure. In fact, Practice holds the key for one to understand everyday, every minute whether his / her Faith and Knowledge are adequate, right and productive or not in light of reality.

No Practice means zero Faith and zero Knowledge and simply a defunct life in the bed of only shies, lies and cries, bringing injuries and insults to the real spirit and happiness of life and living.

Which is why, it’s better to keep things simple and form the life’s triangle with Faith, Knowledge and Practice (FKP) in order to be elevated on earth by treading in the path of spirituality, which is no boon from heaven but you and your contemplations and complementing actions.

After all, life is action, not just contemplation. So, DO your Karma, do the FKP!

PS: If you thought that I had made sense, feel free to write back at rana12feb@gmail.com to share your FKP with me.

Always Use Your Lemon

From IQ to EQ… to SQ (Spiritual Quotient); organizations, irrespective of their size and status, have always been quite concerned about various “quotients or factors” for putting the best “organizational practice or behavior” in place.

Now, “What is this organizational behavior… how is it going to be functional and productive for an organization… and why so?”

An organizational behavior can lucidly be defined as an organization’s attitude and actions towards its internal as well as external audience in terms of care, concern, compassion, communication, comfort, convenience, transparency, trust, responsibility, performance, and result, precisely ROI – Return on Investment.

And this “investment” is not only restricted to financial matters but also is extended to the investments on time, energy, and most importantly, on Intelligence, Emotion, and Spirit that involve Mind, Heart and Soul, respectively.

Which is why, the functionality and the productivity of an organization can be enhanced up to a superlative level simply by putting articulate attention on “interpersonal relationship” – present and prevalent in between any two persons related to the organization.

In fact, this type of interpersonal relationships is actually the governing force that works behind the success of an organizational behavior.

Since, an organization is not just a big premise or palatial complex of concrete, which comprises furniture, computers, servers, balance sheets, etc., it becomes a super-power only because of its “manpower”… and in the current context of business – as happening worldwide – this manpower should be explained and exclaimed as the “Human Power” developed and evolved by IES: Intelligence, Emotion, and Spirit.

It’s often observed and experienced that the major concern areas in interpersonal relationship for an organization are employees, clients or customers, consumers in general, shareholders, government or authoritative personnel, media, and competitors… and all those different set of people and their varied range of ego, expectation, intention and interest.

Therefore, an organizational behavior is nothing but subject to conflict of interest; ego fights; positional power game; battle of minds; shrewd politics; and the like practiced by none other than men and women playing their different and respective roles to the benefit (or the loss) of an organization.

Given this, an organization can only thrive on its organizational behavior, if the said behavior gets expressed as a positive outcome of productive interpersonal relationship.

And while the productivity or the productive nature of such an interpersonal relationship is the key to success for an organization and its behavior, the friction; the conflict; the battle; and the exhaustion of Mind, Heart, and Soul i.e. the stress on IES: Intelligence, Emotion, and Spirit are inevitable. Thereby creating problems and tension between two persons or among groups, everyday, in profession or business.

Thus, to minimize this problem pertaining to interpersonal relationship on account of organizational behavior, in case the “lemon squeezing” experience is taken into consideration as the springboard, I guess, all of us can understand that how easy it is in reality to find the solution for such a delicate interpersonal problem… and that too, within the problem itself.

Basically, while you fight with your colleague, boss, client and the like… you tend to reap in rich benefit for the organization you serve. Exactly in the same vein, your opposition also does try to get benefit for the organization he / she works for.

That means; to achieve a “collective or, for that matter, an equal benefit”, both you and your fighting opposition do the same thing i.e. fight with the other i.e. squeeze the lemons of your respective IES: Intelligence, Emotion, and Spirit.

Now, “Why you do so?”

THINK.

“Do you and your warring opposition squeeze the lemons to taste the bitter peels, or the refreshing juice that comes out of the conflict you two indulge in?”

Of course, you squeeze your share of lemon for the juice only, so does the other person who fights with you in profession or business.

And, as “this juice is nothing but that collective or same benefit” for which ACTUALLY a fight shoots up in between two persons in an organization, you should never ever pay any heed to the bitter lemon peels that, mostly, unfortunately, and rather ironically, become the bone of contention in an interpersonal relationship in the form of ego hassle; professional rivalry; and all other negative and worthless sentiments.

Hence, in order to benefit from the best of organizational behavior based on interpersonal relationship… “Always Use Your Lemon!”

PS: This article is based on what I shared with the executives at India's one of the premier management institutes on February 06, 2010.

Five Fingers - The Marriage Made Easy

I had lost my parents quite early. As a result of their demise, I always had to work doubly hard in order to fulfill my emotional needs from other relationships. In the process, I have learnt how valuable the word “relationship” is and how it helps one exist and excel in life.

That’s why, when India’s one of the leading matrimonial portals approached me to enhance the site’s creative components, I became really bullish about the scope of work with them. In fact, it took me only 5mins to give them my positive nod.

Besides the mandatory match-making service and solution, the portal has also got a counselling cell. Wherein they provide site members with pre as well as post marriage psycho-solution to help people get stable on mind in nuptial relationships.

Following is an article, which I have created for the portal, facilitating them to convey the nuances of a (matrimonial) relationship in the most simplistic way.

I have used “five fingers” as the metaphor to describe the different stages or phases of a marriage or nuptial knot because in a marriage holding hands is quite symbolic and those are fingers only that help one hold anything.

I have given the title “Five Fingers – The Marriage Made Easy” to the article and do hope that you enjoy it.

First Finger Phase – by Little Finger

This phase is the pre-marriage period. Precisely when love, courtship, negotiation, etc. take place. In this phase, mind or emotional equilibrium remains at a very dubious, vacillating, tender, and touchy stage. At the drop of a hat, it seems anger, frustration, disbelief, etc. settle on one's nose, entailing avoidance, dissonance or may be even a pre-mature break up.

Hence, open communications, absolute transparency, presenting one’s original or true self, etc. are a few factors... imperative in this phase. If it’s not done in this phase then in the later phases there is every possibility that things will turn ugly and bitter up to an irreparable and injurious extent.

The major lacuna, which generally occurs in this phase, is a partner’s trials or efforts to impress the other partner, mostly by concealing the truth. This is dangerous, since once the sugarcoat gets off… the love or emotion pill tastes like quinine.

Second Finger Phase – by Ring Finger

This phase is the honeymoon period of a matrimonial relationship. In this phase, everything is hunky-dory and euphoric, and life seems to be nothing but a utopia.

Unfortunately, in more than 90% of cases, this phase gets over at a rapid speed.

In this phase, sex, promises, commitment, dedication, etc. are the prime factors that hold the key.

The major shortcoming in this phase is the constant rose glasses on eyes. Thereby getting too much bogged down into myopic activities, as if there is no tomorrow. And when tomorrow arrives with its all turbulent spins and whirls, the lovey-dovey partners succumb to the future pretty haplessly and hopelessly, calling their short-sightedness and unplanned steps as destiny or (bad) luck.

Third Finger Phase – by Middle Finger

This phase in a marriage is really very critical and painful too. In this stage, both the partners begin to care a damn for the other. One’s mid-finger remains always up for his / her better-half. So, this phase can also be termed as “fuck phase or FYI”.

Actually, bloated ego, false pride, professional pressure, unnecessary lies, ex-matri interest and exploration, unwanted familial and societal intrusion, etc. are the evil factors that generally do the massacre into love and emotion in this phase.

Steel in character, high-degree of patience, perseverance, self-belief and brutal honesty are the spices very much required in this phase to save the dish of marriage from turning bland here.

The major pitfalls in this phase are getting carried away by others’ suggestion, allowing own mind to stop functioning, over reacting, taking self-pity, trying to get short-term solutions of problems in hand without addressing or looking into the crux of the problems, etc.

Fourth Finger Phase – by Index Finger

This phase is the saddest, the worst, and the sorriest stage that can happen to any marriage. In this phase both the partners simply become enemies to each other. From their actions and reactions; activities and attitude, it seems as if they have never been known to each other and would really be happy if the other dies, immediately and unceremoniously.

In this phase, getting into or indulging in shameless blame game i.e. pointing one’s index finger to the other is so common that often it feels marriage is nothing but the biggest miscarriage of emotions and feelings.

But, it actually is not the case. To save marriage in this phase, or to protect self as well as to guard the hostile partner, the factors that really come handy here are dignified silence, apt and mature interactions, giving away ample space, ignoring petty temptations or provocations, and maintaining a good mental as well as physical health with the help of music, reading, introspection, knowledge-sharing, exercise and meditation.

The loophole – which can also be marked as “manhole” here in this particular phase – is slipping into the muck-full of gutter or into the quicksand with an unhealthy, heinous and inhuman ambition to kill self or the partner.

And frankly, this kind of mental disorder or insanity in one’s thought process is simply against any kind of humanism or humanity, thus deserves only condemn and reprimand.

Fifth Finger Phase – by Thumb

This phase is the most satisfying, rewarding and happy stage that one can enjoy minus any worry at all in his / her marriage.

In this phase, every negative emotion or feeling either subsides or evaporates forever. Only maturity prevails then, and the real meaning of companionship surfaces under the full moon of love, care, affection, concern and all other self-less and very positive thoughts and emotions.

[If you are an Indian and / or understand Hindi, please refer to the song “Tere bina zindagi se koi shikwa to nahi...” from the movie “Andhi” to relate to this phase like anything.]

The key factors in this phase are self-actulisation, gaining maturity, knowing how to check in temper and chew in words, and understanding the fact that love is strength but not weakness and, last but not least, compatibility is a “workable ability” that never ever comes to one on a platter by sheer magic. Instead, this ability can only be honed when both the partners understand and realise that no more they are two separate identities rather have become an “integrated or compact identity” for life.

Just the reason, I would like to decipher the word compatibility as “the ability to act, achieve, accomplish, and actualise being a compact unit, together.”

The major roadblock in this phase is feeling bad or lamenting on the time, energy, emotion and money lost in the third phase and the fourth phase. It’s not needed at all. Rather, in this stage one must embrace and enjoy the treasure of happiness and contentment of being together – that has never been so enriching in any other phases in his / her marriage.

PS:
In case, you too are suffering from any disorder in your matri-relationship, feel free to go and visit a good counsellor for help. Getting psychological help doesn’t mean that you are a psycho-patient or mad. So, open your mind before you open your eyes… to see and foresee the real sun of happiness, everyday!