One fine morning, I had received a call from the then Editor of the publication who read me the following –
“I’m a student of Mechanical Engineering (3rd year) in Kalyani Engineering College, wanting to enhance on my soft skills by developing an attitude, communication, personality and confidence. I would like to know how EQ is over IQ. It will be great help, if you provide me with a few tips on the same and drop the name of a book or two that I can refer to in this regard.”
Once finished, as usual and as always, she had demanded my lines immediately for answering back to the guy through the column and offered me half-an-hour flat.
And obeying the ultimatum, I had no choice but obliging her with the stuff she wanted.
Attitude is an inherent and, to some extent, a worked out quality of yours. This quality can set you apart from others, easily. It can be of two types: Positive and Negative. Generally by mentioning of an Attitude, we mean the Positive Attitude. And to develop this (Positive) Attitude, it’s crucial for you to think Positive almost every time. Be it a no-win situation or a mere win-win, you have to think positive almost every time to turn it into all-win for you. Because you actually win a battle on mind much before it’s fought. And if you think, you can win, yes, you will. At least 80 times out of 100 – if not more.
Plus, your Attitude should always be executed by your action. Without any action, you can be rest assured that your Attitude will have no takers. For, life is action, not just contemplation. While you act, you got to learn from your every mistake and can never afford to commit the same mistake again (and again). During action, always deserve the very best and in case it’s not achieved despite of giving your 100%, accept it sportingly and put your pad on for playing the next innings. Failure is no sin or obscene but fearing failure is dangerous or an unpardonable crime. It’s sheer Negative Attitude, which never pays but pains.
Communication helps you develop an image of your own. Broadly, it has two genres: Verbal and Non-verbal. In Verbal Communication (which may also include writing), try to express things in the simplest way. Never use lingo or jargons, especially while you talk. It’s very important how you communicate so as to help your audience understand what you communicate. An insignificant matter might also become engrossingly interesting, if you can convey your message in a unique yet well-accepted and easily-comprehensible manner.
For Verbal Communication, your building blocks could well be watching news or talk shows on the quality English or regional channels on television. This practice will help you develop the right kind of pronunciation, accent and diction.
In case of Non-verbal Communication body language is the key. Listen attentively while someone is talking to you. In person or over the phone. Don’t shake your head too much, or stray your eyes here and there, or bite your nails, or put a hand on your face to get it covered while you are addressed in person. Always maintain a good pose and posture while you stand up or sit, and make sure to present a facial expression, which signals that you are ever interested to hear and know.
If character is the mirror, Personality is its polish. So it needs to be reflecting. Keeping yourself clean is a vital aspect of an attractive Personality. Always wear dresses that will keep you most comfortable in them. It doesn’t necessarily mean that your apparels should always be in line with the latest fashion or in vogue. Trim or cut your hair matching your face, use perfume or deodorant, and after shave while you go out. The stuff should smell soothing not overtly rich or incontrovertibly cheap. Don’t keep unruly nails on your fingers, or mud on your shoes – as nails and shoes are the hallmarks of one’s Personality. And don’t over do to highlight your Personality and hang a little smile, if not impossible, always on your lips.
Once your Attitude, Communication and Personality are developed and properly ordered, your Confidence will germinate and grow rather automatically. More you interact and share knowledge; it will add better values to your Confidence. Trust yourself and trust others in relationships, because your Confidence scales up greater heights when you can instill Confidence in others.
Well, now about EQ. EQ is the abbreviation of Emotional Quotient. It’s a sensitive work culture that brings the best out of every employee in an organisation. The fundamentals of this concept are Emotion, Emotion and Emotion. Opposite to logical and analytical understanding of gains like turnover, profits, market-share, etc., EQ helps and ensures an organisation succeed on intangible yields such as trust, reliability, loyalty, satisfaction, etc. It’s a process where one-on-one relationship and Emotion count more to general knowledge and intelligence that describe IQ. In a nutshell, EQ is letting your mind follow your heart.
Finally, to name the stuff in print (books or periodicals) as your guide; it should be the newspaper that you must unfold and look into daily. Going through the autobiographies of successful people is a real motivation to get and remain inspired. You may also refer to Daniel Goleman’s book on EQ. And most importantly, read to enjoy and enjoy to read. Anything. Everything.