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Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The Mahayana

Dear Friends (and Foes),

Since my childhood, the two epics: the Ramayana and the Mahabharata have fascinated (and flabbergasted) me and my wit (if any) to a large extent.

Why so, to unveil… let me begin with the Ramayana.

The king Dasharatha had got three wives. Perhaps any Hindu marriage act was not applicable on him at that point of time. Or may be, as the diktat articulates that a king IS a king, he could manage to raise himself above the reach of any such marriage act or law.

They say that the first criterion of a great king or ruler is impartiality. So, when Dasharatha was quite admittedly and evidently more inclined towards his second wife Kaikeyi than his other two wives, I suppose, this was the king’s unbiased love for the queen sans any discrimination!

As far as my little knowledge goes, it understands that a king governs the lives in his kingdom or realm. And, I guess, the king’s bedroom also falls within his empire. If so, then when a mere maidservant Manthara could afford to exploit his supposedly in-the-bed promise to his wife (Kaikeyi) for an evil interest, I wonder, whether it should be considered as Dasharatha’s governing power as a king or his meek surrender to love (read lust) as a helpless hubby darling!

[Then why only hold Ekta Kapoor responsible for giving India the family feuding K-factors, when on the contrary Maharshi Balmiki had introduced us to those K-marked family politics ages ago!]

From there, Ram was asked to leave his paternal house for 14 long years. Fair enough! But, I’m not sure, if it was fair at all to allow Laxman to get himself tagged along with Ram and Sita while Urmila – Laxman’s innocent wife was not a party to the awesome threesome’s jungle venture for such a long period of time. It’s quite bizarre to note that poor Urmila had to suffer from a conjugal void, as if her marriage was annulled for nothing. Sorry to cite that was quite selfish of Ram and Sita and simply irresponsible of Laxman.

In the jungle, Sita may have demanded for umpteen times for a golden deer or anything trivial, but being a mature person, if Ram couldn’t predict the inevitable danger lurking around his wife (Sita), then it was sheer lack of commonsense expressed by a husband following the suit of his bro Laxman. Seems this IRRESPONSIBILITY was quite hereditary in Ram-Laxman’s family.

Also, it’s weird how could a man be called as Sri Ram instead of Srihin (lackluster) Ram, when the guy actually killed the super-ape Bali from behind like a coward in order to pursue and benefit from a give n take deal signed with Bali’s bro Sugreev – who was eyeing for Bali’s throne by hook or crook.

Plus, if you take Ravana and his intelligence into consideration, I’m sure; you would be as perplexed as I have always been. It’s strange that even with ten heads the guy failed to think of the consequence of offering fire to Hanuman’s tail!

Amazement continued! More so, when Hanuman could manage to put his blazing tail into his mouth for a permanent facial tan but couldn’t feel like putting it into the sea, which he actually crossed over by air after finishing off his famous Lanka episode.

God and Sita only knew how tough the days were out in Lanka; however she was ordered by her great husband (Ram) to walk straight into the fire on coming back home… because society demanded it. Peculiar! What a god damned god, I swear!

Now let’s take a peek into the Mahabharata, which also contains no less atypical actions and activities.

In case we start with Dhritarashtra, I don’t know whether the king was actually blind in eyes or on mind. Reason being, his actions and reactions helped one arc his or her eyebrows, incessantly.

Frankly, if a father remained always engaged in child production (101 children, no joke folks) without being bothered about his offspring's education and nourishment, it was pretty obvious that his children would be misguided and spoilt only.

[Sometimes, I seriously contemplate why Dhritarashtra shouldn’t not be given with the due credit on a/c of his labour to unearth the pitcher babies one after another much before the incidence of a test-tube baby took place!]

Exactly that happened with Duryodhan and Dushasan. Not to mention their maternal uncle Shakuni who took ample advantage of this family disorder of the Kauravas complementing his ulterior motives of finishing off the king, eventually, rather smilingly.

Put some light on Yudhistir and the black spots will become so conspicuous in his somewhat honest and prudent character. Really mind-blowing; a man who personified morals, values, principles and truth kept his wife as a bet to be naked in public because he was reluctant to leave a game of gamble, while losing on it badly!

What to say about Kunti! First she got involved with Surya, brought Karna on earth as a result of her pre-marital adventure and then floated her helpless baby in the water to save her painted face from society. Mother’s care, you see! Not only that but also Kunti’s idiosyncrasy was simply unstoppable when, without even seeing what (or whom) Arjun brought home, she ordered her five sons to have the equal share of Draupadi among them. Interesting, that to a concerned mother like Kunti her son’s (or sons’) wife was nothing but a commodity! After all, Draupadi was others’ daughter (read kitten), so why bother, may be that was the thought cooked up in the shallow kitchen of Kunti.

On the other hand, it was very frustrating too, when the people like Vishma, Dronacharya, etc. chose to play the puppets’ role instead of using their weight, might and thoughts to thwart the Kauravas from forcing continuous injustice to the Pandavas. It proved, in fact nakedly, that a chair and its associated lifestyle-perks and privileges have ever been everything to all from time immemorial… till date.

Now, if I don’t mention of none other than Sri Krishna to conclude my viscera report of Mahayana (Mahabharata + Ramayana), it would be a condemnable offense, I admit. Honestly he was the man who held the key and boldly showed the (marketing) world how to steal the limelight from taking off as a saree seller to Draupadi to completing the cycle as a motivational guru to Arjun by selling the Bhagavad Geeta to all, including any Tom, Dick and Harry, or Ram, Sita or Mita.

Finally, NO WONDER that the practices such as Hintuva (not Hinduism, mind you), social niceties (read cruelties), passing-the-buck ploys and the like are still building our nation on others’ profound notion that India is a happening THIRD-WORLD country even in the year 2009!

Devotedly yours,


PS: Feel free to let me know how you’ve liked my Mahayana (Mahabharata + Ramayana) only at

1 comment:

sukanya said...

Your Mahayana brings a sense of a strange surge of envy ahead of the cryptic smile evolving in my lips.It makes me bite my nails and wonder, "oh darn it man,why didn't I think of it before him?"At the end of the day it is a delightful piece of literature.A daring skit on the epics of gods.GOOD JOB.