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Friday, October 10, 2008

Nakata in Bengal

Sursuri Nakata is an ever smiling Japanese industrialist. He is a latex baron in Britain. His wife is a Bengali lady. They have no issue. Because his company-made condoms work wonder worldwide! Mr. Nakata has always been a very happy husband. Simple proof of this fact exudes when he talks in English with pure Bengali accent. Dyslexia of dialect could never deter Mr. Nakata’s love for his darling wife. So when his wife Samata requested him to live ‘equal’ to the task of her motherland West Bengal’s industrial surge, Mr. Nakata pulled up his socks and folded his sleeves to establish a mammoth condom factory at Vringigram. A place, which is close to Shivtala and adjacent to Nandigram.

Next morning, Mr. Nakata caught an early flight. Landed at Dumdum airport and reached ITC Sonar Bangla Hotel on eastern metropolitan bypass within two hours, only. Thanks to the city’s traffic marvel!

At the lobby of the hotel, quite by chance Mr. Nakata bumped into his distant brother-in-law Mr. Patol Karmokar, who is no inferior to the marketing guru Philip Kotler, for his in-depth window shopping knowledge and acumen.

Immediately, Patol ordered two cups of coffee to grant Mr. Nakata paying the bill for the beverage later on and sat with a loud thud on one of the sofas at the lounge. Mr. Nakata followed Patol’s suit and both indulged in an impromptu tête-à-tête.

Below are the excerpts –

Patol: Long time back at Kolkata, right Jiju?

Nakata: Yeah!

Patol: Why suddenly here?

Nakata: To present my plan of establishing a condom factory at Vringigram.

Patol: But why there? Why in West Bengal?

Nakata: Well, as your didi said.

Patol: Just for that? Don’t tell me!

Nakata: Right. Not just for that. Actually I have chosen West Bengal for two other reasons.

Patol: Like?

Nakata: First, for ‘peace’, as here Buddha rules. Second, for ‘power’, as here Kali acts.

Patol: Okies.. I see. Now what would be the name of your Brand?

Nakata: Bandh.

Patol: Bandh??????????!!!!!!!!!!! What???????!!!! Bandh????!!!

Nakata: Yes! Bandh. That’s the only word which is going to click here. And this name will take my Brand high to higher to the highest level on Brand recall and in sales, very fast.

Patol: Got it. But what would be the product like? I mean what would be your range of products for the people of Bengal?

Nakata: We will have three types… First for SEC A: the condoms will be double coated providing extra protection. Second for SEC B: the condoms will be washable offering better economy… and last but least for SEC C: the condoms will be perforated ensuring protective growth of the vote-bank.

Patol: Amazing, Jiju! Amazing!

Nakata: True.

Patol: What about the pricing?

Nakata: The pricing won’t be constant; we will keep on increasing it once in every week. So that at least two bandhs take place every month against the price hike; naturally giving free mileage and greater Brand recall to our Brand Bandh.

Patol: Jiju, I love you. You are toooo much!

Nakata: Hmmmmm…

Patol: And your idea of promoting the product?

Nakata: No advertisement. But free PR. As whenever a Bandh will happen, we will automatically get the promotion i.e. the communication support. We will simply thrive on newspaper-clippings and news channel-bytes. A headline like: “Bandh condom is scheduled to face another 24-hours Bangla bandh,” will be just perfect for us.

Patol: How to deal with your placement? How would reach your consumers?

Nakata: Simple. As long as the party offices are there at every nook and corner in the state, reaching SEC B or SEC C customers is not a problem. And for SEC A, long live shopping malls and multiplexes!

Patol: Great! But packaging?

Nakata: For SEC A, it will be of handmade paper. For SEC B, plastic. For SEC C, banana leaf.

Patol: Interesting! Between what would be your logo, Jiju?

Nakata: A sickle with a three-leafed sapling. A perfect harmony among the Bandh manufacturer, the Bandh marketer and the Bandh consumer.

Patol: Fatafati!!!! (Outstanding!!!!)

Nakata: Winked. (God knows how he did so with his typical Japanese pair of eyes!)

Patol: In case you have to say goodbye as did the Tatas, then?

Nakata: They were the Tatas, so they said, “Ta Ta,” but I’m Nakata (Na Kata = Not Cut), hence cutting me off the block is not so easy!

Patol: Bingo!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m sure Jiju, you are going to stay in Bengal.

Nakata: YES! FOR SURE.

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Sujay said...

Amazing article! Must say the sense of humour has been presented in every line with a fantastic sense of occasion, purpose and timing, every time. Too good! Hope to read more from you, Dude. Keep it up. Keep writing......

subhodeep said...

wow!this is the best possible sattire till date mourning bengals current state of shilpandolan(industrialmutiny)in anut shell!!!but still the story interwins for another episode .
when nakata decide to have his regimn build up on bengal soil,suddenly mirzafar the legendary outlaw of fearsome batlle of polashir judho got up from his grave and started moving towards the selected place of the newly build plant .
reaching there he found the candid "dharna "
already taken place to oppose against the growing sodomy of our beloved soil and started grumling in rage.
then suddenly he started grinning in his own and soliloquized"ah at last my name is off from any existing reference for traitors ! "
"people use to curse me for so long for ditching off siraj in his final plight for independant bengal!!! "
but now after many years i can have a sound sleep back at my cosy grave baba.!!!!"
my place have been taken by some body at least i am not traitor for bengal any more.'"
this time there is somebody to emulate his antics which reamined untouched for so long!
what if she is woman ????after all he can befriend her in the other world ???both have same objective to ruin bengal to smallest possible filth with elan .
now both of them can enjoy the" bandh" days watching bengal to pieces in peace like their distant relative nero!!!