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Friday, October 31, 2008

Whitewash on Gilchrist’s True Colours

The famous Australian wicketkeeper Adam Gilchrist has no job at present. Post retirement, he is neither taking guard in front of the wickets nor stooping behind the sticks. That’s why; he’s clueless what to do and how to earn. No doubt, he is also a human and having a family to feed.

So, he decided publishing his autobiography TRUE COLOURS to paint the champion and indomitable Indian cricketers to hard sell the guff in print.

Nothing doing; he has to do this business because he needs money. And as the maxim goes 'idle brain is devil’s workshop', Gilli can’t help but doing things which are silly thereby slipping into the gully without any cover, extra cover, or point, for that matter.

First, he tried to bully Sachin Tendulkar by calling the little master as a ‘sore loser’. Reason being, Sachin defended Harbhajan in the deposition on the racial row involving Harbhajan Singh and Andrew Symonds that threatened to go out of hand during India's last tour Down Under.

Gilli claimed that Sachin initially told the hearing that he could not hear what was said because he was ‘a fair way… away’. But during the appeal which followed, Sachin said that Harbhajan used a Hindi term what sounded like ‘monkey’ to the Australian ears.

Now the point is, “How come the word ‘monkey’ falls under any racial abuse category?” If so, “Then why other words such as Tiger, Lion, Kangaroo, Kiwi, Elephant, etc. are exempted?”

Plus, Gilli’s rubbish commentary continues as –

“... I heard Harbhajan said to Ricky, ‘Sorry, I apologise, it won't happen again.’ The look on Harbhajan's face was telling. He looked like he was thinking, ‘Oh, shit! What have I done here? They're all over me.’

“... Harbhajan already apologised for doing it in India and promised not to do it again, but there he was, up to his old tricks. His promises meant little, and Ricky was reporting it to the match officials during the second Test in Sydney.”


Because how could Gilli know what was playing on Harbhajan’s mind? Is the famous wicketkeeper a face and thought reader too? If yes, then Gilli has a career here after cricket. He can jolly well sit on the streets of India with a parrot and start telling the fortune to people.

“Not a bad income idea, Gilli!”

In fact, this fortune telling might also be considered as yet another buffoon act brought to the entire world by the great Australian Cricket Circus and their players (read jokers) for quite a while from now.

Also, if Ponting needs to go the match officials to change his diapers more often than not, he can jolly well do it. However, for that, Harbhajan can’t dislodge his turban and make the wet Australian captain dry with the Shikh’s headdress, every time.

In addition, Gilli also accused both Sourav (Ganguly) and Harbhajan (Singh) as chickens because the awesome twosome didn’t take part in 2004 Nagpur Test versus Australia. The base of his allegation was the Indian duo feared the grassy wicket at the venue, so they cowered.

Gilli is desperate to prove the point that the Aussies are ever fearless and do never shrink in the jaws of any defeat or tie.

But, the reality told (and always tells) it otherwise.

Precisely, when the ‘underarm bowling incident of 1981 occurred on February 1, 1981’. Australia was playing New Zealand in a One Day International cricket match, the third of five matches in the final of the Benson & Hedges World Series Cup at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. For preventing New Zealand from scoring the six the Aussies needed to tie. That time, the then Australian captain Greg Chappell instructed his bowler (and brother) Trevor Chappell to deliver the last ball underarm, along the ground. This action was not technically illegal, but it was widely considered to be against the spirit of the game. (YouTube link of Trevor Chappell's bowling underarm.)

“Now, the great Greg, Gilli and Ponting, what you have to say or write on the spirit of the game? Or about the hyped up Aussie valor?!”


The fact is Gilli has started to play his role for the touring and back-footed Aussies in India in the ongoing series. This time off the field though. He is communicating those funny stuff in media about the Indian cricketers to spell a cast of tension and temper in the Indian camp so that our cricketers under perform. But to no avail, as like his guru Greg, Gilli has also failed to read the changed Indian psyche. That no more fluctuates under any evil force.

Moreover, Gilli needs to sell his book. By hook or crook. And where else but in India can he get a better market?! Hence, Gilli’s sobbing in TRUE COLOURS is a tactical negative campaign on the Indian players as per his PR practice to facilitate his book’s sales.

Finally, Gilli, we sympathise with you and your book-selling spree but can only offer WHITEWASH on your TRUE COLORS which is rather to be renamed as FALSE HUES.

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